Sometimes it feels like the only measuring stick we have for our human development at this post-secondary, pre-adulthood stage of our lives is the “then” and the “now”. The university experience is complex and dynamic, and yet our “go-to” way to articulate the value of this time comes down to how it compares to our high school experience.
With a resounding “University is so much better than high school!” coming from the mouths of most of my classmates, I began to wonder how different the social conditions are within these two educational institutions. With the recent opportunity to volunteer in a high school classroom, I started to take notice of the details; I kept watch for what we really meant when we said that “we would never go back,” and I got to thinking that high school is not actually that different from university.
High school friendships seem to be organized into groupings. Anyone who has seen Clueless would agree. Some refer to these groups as “cliques” or see these groups as being indicative of popularity pyramids. Despite this, these groups are not very different from any other friendship, including friendships formed in university. Friendships in high school are not as driven from social power and popularity as mainstream media and popular opinion may indicate and university friendships are not as genuinely and organically formed, or openly welcoming as a hopefully idealistic university student may describe. Both in university and high school, many friendships are formed out of opportunity and convenience. Having a buddy in a class can offer many advantages and additional appeals for a student. This does not mean that these convenience-based friendships cannot form into a deep and lasting relationship.
With our “then versus “now” mentality, there is the idea that social groupings do not exist in the university setting, but simply belong to the “then”. While I cannot speak for the thoughts of everyone, simply in looking at the genre of “the teen movie” there is a clear common fascination with high school friendship groups. Assuming that these group dynamics do not continue in a post secondary educational setting, it ignores the presence of university clubs, teams, sororities, fraternities, and exclusive programs. The difference between the high school social group and the university social group is slim.
The biggest shift in social dynamics from high school to university seems to be rooted simply in a small shift of self-awareness. A club formed in university is done with the hope of meeting people who share a common interest and with the intention of taking part in this common interest together. The high school club seems more passively joined. Most high school students will join a team or a club at some point throughout their high school experience, which is indicative of this participation as being an expectation. The expectation may either be consciously understood in the student or not, but the friendships formed from fulfilling these expectations are in keeping with this pattern of participating in the social norm.
Coping with the loss of friendships after high school forces an individual to understand that perhaps, some people are not meant to be in one’s life forever. University friendships may not last forever either. Going from high school and into university, I found myself expecting to lose friendships and gain new friends. These losses and gains did take place, but not as starkly as I had expected. I have some friends from my high school friend group, while I also have new friends in university. The strength of the friendship was not dictated by the institution in which they were formed, but in the dedication of both individuals in spending time with one another. Loyal friends are loyal friends, no matter the place or time. High school friend drama is friend drama. High school does not create the drama; people do, and those who cannot form good habits in maintaining friendships will simply turn High school friend drama into university friend drama.