Lately, I can’t help but feel that, with the school year about to end, something’s are about to change. Maybe it’s because I’m going home for the summer and I’m giving up the freedom of living alone or that I’m seeking a new job in my same old home town. Whatever it is I know things will be different and, after months of becoming a creature of habit because of school, I don’t know how to feel about it.
Up until college, I always yearned for the relief from high school during the summer. It was always so easy to just be a kid, I guess. I still had a job and would work as much as I could. However, a job then and a job now just doesn’t feel the same. I think it’s because I’ve realized that no matter how much I don’t want to, I have to become an adult. Being an adult means taking care of certain expenses and going to school has become a very big expense. Now all of a sudden I am filled with thoughts like How my going to pay off my debt? How do I go to pay rent? Do I really need to get that oil change or can I put it off for another two weeks? I used to always hate people or the thought of people that only cared about money and I hated the saying “money makes the world go round” but when you find yourself with not a lot, if any, and you’re only racking up debt like I am, it becomes a big stressor.
For now, I’m just going to try and focus on my finals and doing the best I can with the rest of this semester. But these thoughts never really go away. So I guess for now I’m just going to have to make peace with the unknown, at least for this summer. I guess that if I were to tell any of y’all who are facing the same struggles that I am what to do, just to try and see the bright side of everything and know that change doesn’t have to be bad. Just because some things are different doesn’t mean that you are. Just be confident in who you are and the decisions you make and just hope for the best in the future.