To All the Lonely People

I just want to make a disclaimer that regardless of your relationship status, I am beyond supportive and happy for you as long YOU are happy and supported.

And to the happy couple who just walked passed me, I’m sorry for rolling my eyes at you. I wish you all the happiness in the world and would LOVE for you to teach me your ways because y’all were cute as hell!  

Sincerely,

A (happily) single lady

So apparently this time of year is called “cuffing season,” which honestly, I just learned about through a secret Urban Dictionary sesh under the table, and WOW if it isn’t true?!

My friends and I talk a lot about being single, mostly why we are still single, and a lot of it is wondering if there’s something more we should be doing to get “cuffed.” (true story) ––– I’m gonna stop right there, and just say for the sake of everyone out there (including myself); whether you are single, in a relationship or anywhere in between, you do not have to change anything about who you are for anybody! But you’re rolling your eyes right now because you already knew that, hell, I’m rolling my eyes because I know that––––but do I? Do we really?

I know myself pretty well (I like to think), and I know that the second I watch a romantic comedy or really anything with a romantic plot, I’m back to asking, “What am I doing wrong that I don’t have that?” I have recently found that I am not the only person who thinks this way. I guess that’s why they named an entire season after it!

A couple weeks ago my roommate sent me this Instagram post by a woman from San Francisco (#bayareababes #youknowwhoyouare #notme) who described all the couples she saw around her, and actually said she felt “elated” being single. I guess this came as a surprise to me, (not that I haven’t had some totally elated moments in my life). There really is no shame in being happily single. Why is it that we never hear that? I guess when you think about it, it’s always “happily married” or “happily engaged.” Have you ever heard someone say that they’re happily single, and not thought or heard someone respond “yeah right?” Well, yeah, that is right! I’m lucky to be in love with my best friend, and her name is, me! I’m taking the advice of goddess Ariana Grande and Thank U, Next(ing) my non-existent ex’s and focusing on the relationship with myself! Can I get a HELL YEAH?!

In all seriousness, I do believe that we attract the people in our lives with the energy we carry. (Not to toot my own horn, but my energy must be damn good because I have some really great people in my life). Think about the people who make you laugh so hard you get tears in your eyes. We all have that friend we haven’t spoken to in ages but it feels like no time has passed as soon as they pick up the phone. Sure, it would be nice to have a special someone to snuggle up next to and watch your favorite TV series, or for someone to bring you flowers just because (clearly watching too many rom-coms).

I think we’re all deserving of a great love, granted that may not be whatever person wants. But for those of us who do, we should take advantage of the single life while we can and treat ourselves like we are the greatest love of our lives. (Because we are!) We should never stop doing nice things for ourselves. So buy yourself a donut, buy two why don’t ya? Take an extra long bath, listen to your favorite songs and dance around your room with your roommate. Get yourself a fish, go to the movies with friends, and buy yourself flowers!

So, to all the lonely people, you’re less alone than you think. Don’t let the fact that you’re single keep you from enjoying this time of year. A wise friend once told me, “just because it’s ‘cuffing season’ doesn’t mean it has to be your cuffing season” (Thank you, Ginny). Don’t worry too much about the expectations of our families, our society or ourselves. Spend your time how you want with the people you want, nurture the friendships that make you feel loved, build new friendships, and most importantly, nurture yourself.

At the end of the day, no one is going to love you the way you can love yourself. (Something I have to remind myself of daily). So take yourself out for coffee once in a while, and rather than enviously rolling your eyes at every cute couple you see (and they seem to be everywhere this time of year), be happy for them. However we choose to live your lives and whoever we share it with, in the end, we all want to be able to say we lived and loved, “happily.”

• alone
• couples
• cuffing season
• dating
• relationships
• single