As you click the “sign up” button for the 10:00 A.M. orange theory fitness class at the San Jose Rose Garden Studio, you know it’s not because you really want to, but because you feel guilty for that late night ice cream you just ate. After pressing this button you really have to commit because once you get into the six-hour zone, there is no turning back without a cancellation fee. For the next few hours you debate whether or not you should just back out now and save yourself the pain before it is too late. You decide to stick with it because you are trying to make some #gains.
Your alarm goes off at 8:30 A.M and then again at 9 and each time you think to yourself “I guess $25 isn’t that much money to waste, maybe I’ll just skip it today.” The final alarm goes off at 9:15 and your rational “I have a college budget” self kicks in and tells you that you are being completely ridiculous and cannot afford to make reckless decisions like wasting $25. So you get up, grab your heart rate monitor, and hit the road, all the while picturing turning the car around and getting back into bed.
You enter the studio and see some fellow broncos working the desk, which makes you feel both better and worse all at once because a) you would prefer to not be seen in this vulnerable state by people in your social circle, but b) you realize that they have been working since 4 A.M and you should stop feeling sorry for yourself. You claim a treadmill because trying to sprint after lifting weights and rowing is actually hell on earth, so you want to get the harder part out of the way. You “stretch” for as long as possible before you have to start your warm up jog.
Class starts when the trainer’s voice comes over the sound system and that’s when you know your time has come. The instructor lays out the routine for the people doing the weight portion first, then comes back to give the lowdown to the peeps on the treads, while you’re repeating the same question over and over again in your mind, “What the heck have I gotten myself into?” After the instructor tells you the plan for your cardio, there are two possible scenarios that your mind subconsciously launches into: “This is the day that I die” or “There is a possibility I could die, but it’s doable.” Most of the time it is the first option when the trainer says, “Today is a power day,” because that means that there will be both incline and speed on the treadmill portion followed by the entire weight segment.
You go through a sort of interval training with the instructor encouraging you the whole time, which alternates between kind of annoying you and also empowering you. And then all of the sudden a 50 Cent song comes on over the loud speaker and you feel as though you are invincible. This is what really gets you through.
When the last all-out (also known as the fastest pace you can physically run at for a certain amount of time) comes around, you feel like you can fly, but only for a brief 30 seconds before your heart beats out of your chest.
Once the treadmill portion is over, you feel like you can take on any challenge they throw at you. But then they tell you to do burpees and you realize that maybe this isn’t the case. Finally you have a rowing circuit, which is where truly you feel as though your whole body will just collapse right then and there.
You are on your last round of weight exercises, whether it is holding that plank or doing chest flies, and you are shaking like crazy. But you hold it because there is only one minute left, the longest minute of your life and you swear it will never end.
ALAS! The instructor utters the sweet words “shut it down” and you experience a feeling that equals that of getting an A on that on midterm that you studied so hard for. You wipe off the sweat that is dripping from every pore of your body and it’s time to stretch. Stretching is the best part of class because you just stand there stretching and thinking about how much of a beast you are. You feel elevated, strong and confident. I think this is what they refer to as “endorphins.”
Finally, you walk out of the studio doors like the queen entering her inauguration ceremony and you know you can accomplish anything your day presents you with.