Finally, I feel at peace. After four brutal and treacherous months I feel free. No one and nothing can hold control over me and my thoughts, emotions, and actions. Today is the day I broke free from and get to embark on the exhilarating journey of rediscovery. Today marks the day I revive my old self and remember what truly makes me, me.
A spiral of emotions run through my veins like little kids on a playground. Excitement. Fear. Worry. Thrill. Happiness. But most of all relief. Relief that the dark days are over. Relief that I can finally be me. Relief that now I can truly discover what my core values are and what exactly makes me who I am.
I’m not exactly sure how to start understanding who I am. Am I supposed to sit and ponder my morals? Do I go out and seek new ideas and beliefs from different people? Or, should I go and explore the various realms of the world?
How am I supposed to know who I am and what my entire identity is? I know I identify with a gender of a female and an affectional orientation towards men, but other than that I am stumped. So here lies one of the most controversial arguments. Is a person’s identity from nature or nurture? Personally, I believe that my own personal identity must be a combination of both my nature and nurture.
To be frank I really don’t know a whole lot about my biology. I mean I know I have 23 pairs of chromosomes and I have dominate and recessive traits along with homozygous and heterozygous features. But I honestly do not understand how these scientific discoveries lend hand to what makes me, me. On the other hand, nurture, or the environment, has certainly affected my mannerisms dramatically as well. I know because I grew up in the close-knit town I did I value community. Since I grew up with a sister, I was able to understand the importance of sharing and compromise at an early age.
I’ve always been told I have the biggest heart, so I guess that must be true. I love and strive to see the beauty and best in everything and everyone I see and meet. This will forever be my greatest strength and weakness. But today marks the day that I finally found the courage to stand up with my head held high and choose to love myself for who I am. Because you see, if you cannot love yourself then how can you expect someone else to love you. Today I am proud to be me!