Lately I have been telling myself that it is okay to have bad days. That everyone has bad days. Sometimes when I am in a mood like this, it’s hard to snap myself out of the mentality that I am the only one on the world suffering from a bad day, or even week. This is partly because I tend to think that everything is my fault, that everything that is happenings is somewhat related to how I have been acting for because nothing seems to ever go right in my life. Once I get like this, it starts a downwards spiral and I just end up crying and repeating phrases over and over again. Then I get angry and want to hit something. It takes me a while to come down.
Last week was one of the most stressful weeks for me. I had five tests and I was not prepared at all. I studied but because I was so stressed, I wasn’t comprehending the material. A part of the reason I was stressed was because three of the tests I had were for classes that I needed to pass to get into Teacher Candidacy for Education classes in the spring. So, I was stressing over those tests more then usual, and like I already stated, I was just not grasping the material.
I ended up doing bad on the tests and that causes me to stress more. Before one of the tests, I had a complete breakdown. I did not understand any of it and I was really stressed so I just started crying and freaking out that if I don’t pass this test, I can’t continue in Education anymore. I cried for a while. Thankfully, my boyfriend was with me who immediately came over to me, held me, and calmed me down. When I get in these episodes, I overthink and make up things that make no sense or will never happen. My boyfriend held me and told me everything was going to be alright. Eventually, I calmed down and didn’t do well on the test. This was one of the tests I needed to pass for Teacher Candidacy. While I was taking the test, my boyfriend went behind my back and emailed an education professor that is in charge of Candidacy. He emailed the professor and asked if I did not pass would I be behind on Candidacy because there is a date to apply. I really appreciate him doing that for me because that was one of my biggest fears, not being able to pass Candidacy. The professor emailed me back a few days later and told me I was right on track for Candidacy even if I didn’t pass. That took a little weight off my shoulders, but I was still stressed on the test scores I didn’t get back yet.
Towards the end of the week, I started to become less stressed, but I still had a lot of work to do for classes and then on top of all this, I had my work study job. Throughout all this, my boyfriend was right by my side making sure I don’t get too overwhelmed again. He encouraged me to take breaks between schoolwork and when I am at work, focus on my job instead of trying to do classwork during work. When the weekend came around, I was feeling a lot better. College can be overwhelming sometimes but it is important to surround yourself with good friends who you can lean on when things get too hard. You also need to remind yourself that you are not the only person experiencing a bad day. It might seem like it at the time, but you are not alone. Currently, I am doing a lot better now. I have little to no work, and thankfully no tests coming up. I am really thankful for my boyfriend for calming me down and for emailing the professor to make sure I would be on the right track for Candidacy. I am also thankful for my roommate who one, didn’t know what I was going through but, we did crafts together and that made me a lot less stressed. Everyone has bad days. No one should feel alone when struggling with stress and mental health. It is okay for h