2020 seemed to come in like an erupting wave. It’s kind of like when you’re on vacation happily swimming in the ocean and you see a distant wave start to form. You don’t really seem to get worried at first because from far away it seems so small but then the closer and closer it gets the bigger it becomes. Finally, the wave is approaching you and there is nothing you can do but just let it hit you and drag you ashore with a mouth full of saltwater and a mangled bathing suit. Well, right now I feel like I have just been hit by that wave and it hurts!
This year has had a lot of ups and downs for me, like for many people. We are all trying to navigate a new way of life for this year that most of us have never had to experience. I know, personally, quarantine took a large toll on my mental health. There were times where I would just stay up until three o’clock in the morning sobbing and I had no idea why. It is also so hard when you feel like the years everyone has always claimed to be “the best years of your life” suddenly get ripped out from under you. The struggle has been hard sometimes to get up in the morning, put on a happy face, and pretend to tell the world “Hi yes I am ok!” when you really aren’t. There were times when I seriously just wanted to sleep all day and days where I rarely did! But then I realized something. Even if times are hard now, why can’t I strive to be the best version of MYSELF.
Once I realized this, (trust me it took a long time to reach this point) I was able to get out of bed easier and wear a smile. I started doing things that I loved like baking almost every day, going on walks with my dog, trying out new hairstyles, and journaling. I realized that I had two choices, I could sit in my room and cry all day OR I could do things that would bring me pleasure and peace in a time of pure chaos. I realized I had to stop being so hard on myself and picking on myself for feeling down and take these emotions and put them into doing activities that made me happy. I realized that it is perfectly okay to feel all the emotions involving this pandemic and everything this erupting wave of a year brings.
Life unfortunately can’t be perfect all the time, but a positive mindset can change a lot.