Your People, Your Body

Imagine waking up in the morning with your heart racing. Even though you slept for a full eight hours, it does not feel like it. Maybe you feel slight nausea. Perhaps your mouth is dry. 

You carry on with your day, heart and mind still racing. Your appetite fluctuates. There’s a weird feeling in your gut that you can’t pinpoint. It seems like your body is crying out for something- but you aren’t sure what. 

I am not describing an illness or disease, (although if you have these symptoms persistently, please see a healthcare provider). Instead, I am describing what happens to my body when I surround myself with people and relationships that do not align with myself. 

One of my favorite lessons I have learned, and keep learning, is that health and wellness go far deeper than exercise, diet, and hydration. I like to believe that people can be our best medicine or worst poison. I do not take that lightly. I am not a science scholar, nor will I pretend to be.

This isn’t a science textbook or anthology; think of this as big sister advice or a coffee chat you’d have with a best friend. 

High school and college have been some of the best years of my life so far. I have absorbed so much knowledge. I can give you little tidbits on U.S. history, non-fiction literature, and basic math. But more importantly, these adolescent years have been formative for my personal life. 

I have discovered what I crave and need in my friendships and relationships. I have learned that it is okay (and beautiful) to need things from certain people. We are not robots. We have needs. High school mean girls and former situationships made me feel one common sensation: that I was asking for too much. 

I am known for my personality. I like to be bold, confident, and outspoken. This comes with both good and bad. I once had a guy tell me at a college party that I was “too much”. That will do something to a 19-year-old girl who is still working to develop herself. 

So yeah, those little things stuck with me. I waited for texts I never got. I waited for friends to initiate plans when I was the only one communicating. I waited for people to take me as I was and embrace the entirety of everything that comes with me. 

Spoiler alert: it got better. And my body has never felt better. I have the best friends in the entire world. My roommates make me feel happy and comfortable to go back home to them every day. My brother, parents, and boyfriend make me feel immensely loved and valued every single minute of every day. 

I have never felt more secure in my personal relationships, and it shows in my body. My nervous system feels calm and nurtured. I wake up feeling well-rested and full of energy. I know I will wake up to texts from the people I love. I know I will be showered in compliments and hugs. 

There’s a certain glow from within that comes from being treated how you deserve. There are a lot of people in our lives that we cannot necessarily control. We don’t get to pick what family we are born into. We cannot always ensure we get the best and kindest bosses or professors. But there are people who you can choose- friends, partners, roommates, etc. 

Make sure the people you choose in your life are choosing you back. Every. Single. Day. Love is a choice- it’s a verb. Your mind and body will thank you forever. 

• mental health