‘Tis the Season for Finals Crash Out

(Fa la la la la, la la la la)

I’ll be completely honest; I haven’t the slightest idea what to write about. The holidays don’t feel like they used to. I’d love to be doing secret Santas; I’d love to make my delightful concoctions of hot chocolate and play in the snow… but instead I’m over here mentally screaming into the abyss over the maddening frenzy of the last weeks of classes and final exams, and projects. 

I want to faceplant into my pillow and watch festive things and get all cozy, but I’m running around to meetings, to classes, to my room, to the library. The library is cozy, but when I go there sometimes it sparks up bad memories of something that happened my freshman year around this same time. Yeah, it doesn’t bother me as it used to, but it’s not a pleasant memory to have during the busiest time of the semester.  

We have to remember to take moments to breathe and take a break once in a while. Maybe that’s the time one could just prance in the snow and play around. I can listen to my rock holiday instrumental to encourage me to keep going. Trans-Siberian Orchestra music in the background as I go along makes a finished paper sound like a triumphant victory. But I carry on.  

Crossing off thing after thing on a checklist, brightly painted in a rainbow of colors on a whiteboard far too small to fit thing after thing to do. Words on pages, another hundred words are exactly what the doctor ordered. Awesome, great, now I’m out of prints. Send an email here, send an email there, trying to survive the blizzard as the freezing wind fights to steal my papers from my hands. What to do now?

Another paper, another project, more things to study. It’s draining, but we persist, nonetheless. I’m so glad I have acquired a supply of stress fidgets. Stress is like an explosive, firecrackers rattling in my brain, waiting to explode. Still, trying my best to make it, sometimes I allow myself a break. But then, I get in my head and think it’s a waste of time, and I could be doing more. I can’t even nap, despite my lack of sleep, and my mind races with thoughts of what to do next in my work.  

But hey, it’s the holidays! It’s a time for joy, a time to enjoy time with others. Though, don’t let that stop you from doing your work. It’s important to focus on those things, but don’t be afraid to throw a snowball in the air to take in the glittering winter weather. Heck, even build a snowman, invite the little moments of joy and memory offer a safe embrace from the struggle once in a while.  

• finals
• music
• selfcare
• winter