Love is one of the most beautiful things gifted to us on this planet.
But that’s not to say it isn’t also a game that can twist on you when you least expect it. Like being dealt cards and praying the hand doesn’t call for a fold any time soon, it’s a game of chance you decide to jump into, full of exhilaration and vulnerability.
The worst part is that sometimes you play all your cards right, you gamble carefully, you don’t just believe the odds are in your favor, you FEEL in your heart that they are, and then you still end up with nothing.
You never go into it imagining heartbreak, so the heartbreak comes in a manner that shakes you dry of every last betting cent you had to your name. A new kind of hollow.
This sensation is perfectly depicted in the song “The Winner Takes It All” by ABBA.
A song highlighting the feeling of being left astray, empty, and a loser. The fate of being the woman stuck at the table as the victor takes off with anything she had left in her…. the realization that you just lost life’s most difficult game.
Higher risk, higher reward…. heavier loss.
Even if it is fair play, the underlying side of you that is too bitter to sugarcoat anything feels cheated.
Eventually, you must accept that, as ABBA puts it, “It’s simple and it’s plain.” It is just how it goes. You can’t take back someone else’s royal flush after they’ve already put it on the table. It is an absolute you only envisioned as the worst-case scenario, but it is still an absolute.
“A big thing or small,” no matter the reason or the justification, it is inescapable and definite.
The heartbreak is often blunt and sudden. It stings. It manifests itself in every other aspect of your life, until you feel like you are suddenly losing every game there is. Because how could anyone ever anticipate losing to begin with, and how could that loss not mean that there is some form of incapability within?
It is not a subtle thing. The lamentation in the song itself alludes to the grief embedded in the entire situation. The winner took it ALL, so of course you can’t help but wonder if they ever loved you to begin with. Perhaps, although there is no way to leave anything behind, because how would the game ever be declared over?
The questioning stage of grief takes hold. Does one accept the participation trophy that represents all of the good times, or does that just rub it in? How long had the lover-turned-opponent been waiting to play one final trick up their sleeve?
In the heat of the loss, all you can do is remember that it does not mean you can never win again.
Maybe the real win can be recovering from all you lost.