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The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at SBU chapter.

I grew up with a complicated relationship with expressing my emotions. Throughout my life, I’ve learned that how you deal with emotions plays a critical role in how you are viewed by society. There was always a push to let others know how I felt, so they could attempt to understand me and help me. On the other hand, I gained the view that people who bottled up their emotions and dealt with their problems by themselves are “stronger.” 

I always felt pressured to fit into one of these categories but was never able to identify with either. If you ask my friends or family, they will most likely tell you that I’m overly emotional compared to the average person. I communicate how I’m thinking and feeling, although it isn’t always in the healthiest way. Nobody has ever seen me as someone who hides how they feel when they are sad, angry, or distressed. I’ve embarrassed people close to me by crying in public and expecting them to comfort me. Sometimes my emotions cause other people to worry about me, and guess what? I don’t feel bad about it. 

Recently, I’ve become hyperaware of the stigma around expressing emotions. To put it bluntly, I couldn’t care less. You aren’t better than me just because you bottle your feelings up. It doesn’t make you any stronger of a person because you don’t cry. I understand if you don’t feel comfortable letting others know how you feel, but you aren’t allowed to judge me for it. 

Although I’ve always been known as the overly emotional person who outwardly expresses all their feelings, I don’t believe I fit into that box. I lay alone at night thinking about all the times I should’ve told someone how I was feeling in a specific moment. The point is, just because everyone sees me as overflowing with emotion, most of what I deal with is still inside of me eating away. What I outwardly express is just the tip of the iceberg. 

The relationship that I have with my own emotions has been the single most challenging aspect of my life. I have constantly felt some type of pressure to express myself in a particular way, but I’m done caring. It’s exhausting to be constantly focusing on how others view my emotional state. Obviously, I know that in certain situations it can be inappropriate to burst into tears, but I will never apologize for feeling sad. After all, the only person who can ever understand how you are truly feeling is yourself.  

Adria Hoadley is a second year student at St. Bonaventure University from Union Springs, New York, and first year Her Campus member. Passionate about mental health, societal issues, and womanhood; she loves expressing these interests through her writing! As a psychology major, Adria enjoys learning new things and exploring ideas that may be foreign to her. After graduating with her undergraduate degree from SBU, she hopes to go on and get her master’s degree in school counseling, while also having her own therapy patients. Outside of academics, Adria participates in Silver Wolves, a program at St. Bonaventure that connects students to elderly residents in the local area, along with any other volunteer opportunities that may come up. In her free time, Adria enjoys spending time with friends, working out, listening to music, and online shopping. Adria loves sharing her voice and is excited to be able to do that through writing. She loves the sisterhood of Her Campus and sharing her thoughts and ideas in a creative way!