In the dawn of social media, the big warning that everyone seemed to get was to always to be wary of what you posted online, because that will stay with you forever. One screw up meant a lifetime of trying to scrape back what little amount of respect people would give you.
For most people, that was the case: mainly working-class, average citizens who lose their jobs because of posting a TikTok while at work or tweet that came back to haunt them from five years ago. More and more, though, I have been noticing that these “consequences” only apply to average people.
Recently the internet has been in an uproar about Rachel Kirkconnel and Matt James from season 25 of “The Bachelor” breaking up. Kirkconnel went on the “Call Her Daddy” podcast to explain how she felt blindsided and betrayed by the break-up, and fans immediately came to rally around her in defense. And while going through a break-up that ended in such a public way is a horrifying thing to go through, people seemed quick to forget that Kirkconnel was once herself in some hot water regarding her actions that caused the couple to break up the first time in 2021.
While on “The Bachelor”, photos of Kirkconnel in college at an Antebellum-themed fraternity party resurfaced, obviously calling for concern, considering James was the first Black man to be featured as the bachelor on the show. Yes, James ended up getting back together with Kirkconnel, but it can be safe to assume that there would always be that underlying tension of the racist past of his partner that people were forgetting to mention when discussing the couple’s recent split.
Needless to say, this whole situation got me to thinking about some other “forgive and forget” moments that social media users seem to apply to celebrities.
Along with the topic of messy break-ups, there’s the case of Amber Heard and Johnny Depp. The public slander that came for Heard acting out against the abuse she was suffering at the hands of Depp was extremely contrasted to the outpour of sympathy for Depp, with people giving him a “pass” on his behavior purely because he was dealing with substance abuse at the time. That has never been a valid excuse for becoming an abuser, but the public decided that it was for Depp because he was such a beloved actor. The #MeToo movement and standing by women in the face of abuse went out the window when a powerful male celebrity challenged those beliefs.
Compare that to the upcoming trial between Blake Lively and Justin Baldoni, where a similar type of anti-women sentiment is being conducted. Yes, both of these actors have been wronged in some way, but they have also been the wrongdoers. Lively has been ousted for being rude, controlling, and verbally abusive to her cast and crew members. But in the same vein, Baldoni did behave in an unprofessional manner on set, conducive to sexual harassing Lively, which the public seems to be more willing to let slide.
Look no further than social media users’ reactions to Baldoni’s 2 a.m., yes two o’clock in the morning, voicemail he sent to Lively explaining how excited he was to work with her, which they accepted with open arms as proof of his good character, despite some problematic remarks. I think people are listening to a completely different message than me because it sounded extremely creepy. If I was Blake Lively, I would also be put off by my boss sending me a voicemail in the middle of the night praising me in a backhanded way and ending it with a mention that I was probably breastfeeding my kids while listening.
All of this controversy has stemmed from the movie production of ‘It Ends With Us’, which is controversial in itself. The story is a cautionary tale about domestic violence. However, when the movie was being promoted, all anyone would hear about it was to “wear your florals” to the movie theater, or that it was a cute love story with Blake Lively in it who, by the way, used the movie to also plug her hair care brand. Sounds a little disingenuous to me. However, I was not surprised at all that the movie was a hot mess because the book it was based on is also controversial for the same reasons.
Colleen Hoover has become a huge book publishing juggernaut thanks to BookTok, with ‘It Ends With Us’ being one of the most recommended books circling social media. However, since the beginning of her rise to popularity, people have been coming forward to say that her books are actually glorifying abuse and doing a disservice to people who have actually suffered from domestic violence. To twist the knife further, Hoover had set to release an ‘It Ends With Us’ themed coloring book in 2023, which was met with so much immediate backlash that the project was cancelled before release. Despite these controversies, the movie did well monetarily, and the books continue to top bestseller charts.
People pick sides, and there’s and uproar for about a month or two. Then social media and the general public seem to let everything fade into the background of time and allow these famous people to continue to turn a profit off of their own chosen ignorance.
What greater proof of this cycle is there than the very person who now presides over the highest office in America. Donald Trump, our newly elected President, has perhaps the most egregious, decades-long, digital footprint out of all of the people I have previously mentioned, and the majority of Americans still voted for him. Daily, there are reports of Trump spouting “news updates” that are so obviously fake you already know the answer the AP-Fact Checker will give you before you even open the website.
This trend of willful ignorance on-line and in real life needs to stop if any lasting change is to be made. Holding people accountable is not just something that applies to the average person, it applies to every person, even the rich ones, so let’s start acting like it.