I used to think college would feel like a fresh start. I thought I’d show up, make friends instantly, keep up with my classes, and somehow feel emotionally stable through it all. I imagined late-night talks, spontaneous adventures, and a version of myself that had it all figured out. But real life doesn’t always work like that. It’s messy, unpredictable, and sometimes, honestly, it feels like I’m just barely holding it together.
There are days when I wake up already tired. Not just physically, but emotionally. I go through the motions: class, dining hall, dorm room, maybe a club meeting. I smile, I nod, I say “I’m good!” when people ask how I’m doing. But sometimes I’m not. And I can’t just say that without making things awkward or feeling like I’m oversharing. So I keep it surface-level, even when I’m craving something deeper.
What I’ve realized is that so many of us are struggling, but we rarely talk about it. We’re all walking around with our own stuff, like anxiety, burnout, loneliness, and pressure to succeed. It’s like we’re all pretending to be okay because we think everyone else is. But behind closed doors, we’re all dealing with something. And the silence makes it worse. It makes you feel like you’re the only one falling apart, when really, you’re surrounded by people who get it.
I’ve had moments where I felt completely alone, like I was failing at being a student, a friend, a person. I’ve canceled plans just to cry in my room. I’ve stared at my laptop for hours, unable to start an assignment. And then I’d scroll through Instagram and see people smiling at parties or posting about their internships, and I’d feel like I was falling behind. Like I was missing out on the “college experience” everyone else seemed to be living.
But I’m learning that being “not okay” doesn’t mean I’m broken. It means I’m human. It means I’m feeling deeply, trying hard, and growing even if it’s uncomfortable. I don’t have to be perfect. I don’t have to have it all together. I just have to be honest with myself.
Sometimes that honesty looks like texting my boyfriend and saying, “I’m not doing good today.” Sometimes it’s skipping a meeting to rest. Sometimes it’s crying, listening to music, or just sitting in silence. And that’s okay.
College isn’t just about academics or social life. It’s about figuring out who you are, even if that means struggling. I’m learning to be myself. To let myself feel. To ask for help. And to remind myself that I’m not alone.
Because the truth is, none of us has it all figured out. And maybe that’s the most comforting part.