I used to think college would be easy to balance. I thought classes, friends, and a relationship would all flow seamlessly. But real life doesn’t always work like that. It’s messy, unpredictable, and sometimes it can be lonely in ways you’d never expect.
My boyfriend, Christian, wrestles at a college about 50 minutes from me. This means weekends (the time most couples rely on) are off limits during the season. Tournaments, travel, practice, repeat. I feel like we barely have time to see each other anymore.
When I do finally get to see him, it always feels so short. It’s like we see each other for maybe two days, and then it’s goodbye all over again. We text, call, and send each other random updates, but it’s not the same as being together. It’s hard.
At the same time, college is full of chances to connect and meet new people. There’s always something happening, whether it be basketball games, yoga nights, or just late-night dorm talks. I want to be part of it.
I want to make friends and say yes to every plan, but I also want to stay loyal. I want to be with Christian for the rest of my life. Even if I physically can’t be with him right now. Sometimes that means saying no to those things that could pull me too far away from what we’ve built together.
It’s kind of like a game of tug of war. Some nights I stay in, but then I always feel like I’m missing out. Other nights, I go out and always end up feeling like I’m not prioritizing my relationship. I’m learning that balance isn’t perfect.
Balance is about constantly adjusting what you do to stay in the situations you want. It’s choosing what feels right in the moment, even when it doesn’t match the “college experience” everyone talks about.
I’ve had to learn that love and fun can’t always coexist. Sometimes they do, like when I’m texting Christian while hanging out with my friends, or when he calls me every night after practice.
But other times, they clash. I miss him when I have to say no to plans to prioritize our relationship, but he still can’t physically be there for me. And he misses when I can’t be at all his wrestling matches like I could in high school.
Throughout it all, I’m learning to trust that both parts of my life matter. College is about growth, and love doesn’t always perfectly intertwine. Ultimately, I know this will all be worth it.