I’m a people-pleaser to my core. One of my red flags is that I will jump through every hoop to prioritize other people’s feelings. Over the last few weeks, I’ve learned that I should start prioritizing myself. Unfortunately, my mental health declined significantly before I made this realization.Â
Being a people pleaser is something that has plagued my mental health. When I do this, I offer every bit of kindness I can summon. However, I’ve learned that my kindness is being abused and not reciprocated.Â
I can’t say “no” to people. You could ask me anything from a ride somewhere to being a lookout and I’ll agree without hesitation in fear that you won’t like me if I tell you no.Â
There are people that don’t take this kindness for granted. My favorite phrase is “since you’re driving this time, I’ll drive next time”. I could cry every time I hear it. People like this are the reason I still believe there are kind people in the world.
 But there are others that do take my kindness for granted, and that ends now.Â
After a certain event that has happened over the last few weeks, I have needed kindness to be reciprocated. To make a long story short, I am not receiving the kindness that I would give at the drop of a hat from the people I would expect to be the first to give back the kindness.
These are the same people that haven’t supported me since I started to support them. They make it sound like a chore when I ask them if they wanted to hang out with me or if they were coming to an event I’m attending. It’s making the things that I hold close to me feel invalid.Â
I’m slowly pulling away from these people. I’ve stopped putting myself out there for them just to be hurt in the future. I’m finally at the point where I don’t care if they are mad at me for telling them “no”.Â
I’ve realized that losing these people in my life isn’t a loss, it’s a gain. I feel that my true personality is starting to show, and others can see it.Â
Even though these people are still in my life to some capacity, I’m living by words that one of my best friends said to me. These words help me not revert back to my people pleasing tactics or go a hostile route.Â
“Play nice, don’t play along”.Â