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The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at SBU chapter.

I’m a people-pleaser to my core. One of my red flags is that I will jump through every hoop to prioritize other people’s feelings. Over the last few weeks, I’ve learned that I should start prioritizing myself. Unfortunately, my mental health declined significantly before I made this realization. 

Being a people pleaser is something that has plagued my mental health. When I do this, I offer every bit of kindness I can summon. However, I’ve learned that my kindness is being abused and not reciprocated. 

I can’t say “no” to people. You could ask me anything from a ride somewhere to being a lookout and I’ll agree without hesitation in fear that you won’t like me if I tell you no. 

There are people that don’t take this kindness for granted. My favorite phrase is “since you’re driving this time, I’ll drive next time”. I could cry every time I hear it. People like this are the reason I still believe there are kind people in the world.

 But there are others that do take my kindness for granted, and that ends now. 

After a certain event that has happened over the last few weeks, I have needed kindness to be reciprocated. To make a long story short, I am not receiving the kindness that I would give at the drop of a hat from the people I would expect to be the first to give back the kindness.

These are the same people that haven’t supported me since I started to support them. They make it sound like a chore when I ask them if they wanted to hang out with me or if they were coming to an event I’m attending. It’s making the things that I hold close to me feel invalid. 

I’m slowly pulling away from these people. I’ve stopped putting myself out there for them just to be hurt in the future. I’m finally at the point where I don’t care if they are mad at me for telling them “no”. 

I’ve realized that losing these people in my life isn’t a loss, it’s a gain. I feel that my true personality is starting to show, and others can see it. 

Even though these people are still in my life to some capacity, I’m living by words that one of my best friends said to me. These words help me not revert back to my people pleasing tactics or go a hostile route. 

“Play nice, don’t play along”. 

Morgan Kilger is a junior at St. Bonaventure University. She is from Buffalo, NY and is super excited to start her first year at Her Campus! She plans on writing about pop culture, current events and lifestyle. Morgan is most excited to join the sisterhood that Her Campus proudly portrays and write about things that she is passionate about on a safe platform. Morgan is a double major in history and women’s studies with a political science minor. She plans on pursuing a career in museum work. She dreams of one day working in either Washington D.C. or Salem, Massachusetts. You can also find Morgan working on campus as a student ambassador, the Features Editor for The Bona Venture — St. Bonaventure’s student-run newspaper — and in participating clubs like the SBU Dance Team and College Democrats. Morgan also enjoys volunteering at places like the local SPCA and the Olean Warming House in her free time. Outside of her Bonaventure life, Morgan enjoys several hobbies. She likes to play with her dogs Oliver and Lylah, read her favorite books for the millionth time and to watch Gilmore Girls — she’s team Logan. You can also find Morgan hanging out with her roommates for family dinners or having movie nights.