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SBU | Life > Experiences

Pity Party

Adria Hoadley Student Contributor, St. Bonaventure University
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at SBU chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.

This past week was one of the most draining seven days of my life. Long story short, I’ve been going through a lot in my personal life, and I feel like I can usually manage everything, but this week was different. No wonder I felt so drained. It takes so much more energy when you’re constantly pushing yourself beyond your breaking point. Sometimes, it’s better to just let yourself fall apart, and that’s exactly what I did this past week.  

I skipped class, skipped meals, and spent the majority of the past seven days lying in bed feeling sorry for myself. I cried, slept, and put off all my schoolwork until the very last minute. I listened to sad music, watched half a dozen movies, and pretended I had no responsibilities. Obviously, I don’t encourage hiding away from society and not taking care of yourself, but if you need to take a week to yourself, then do it.  

If you fall apart, that’s fine. You just need to build yourself back up. Now it’s Sunday; the start of a new week. My pity party is over. I got my coffee and now I’m settling in and getting ahead with homework for the week. Don’t get me wrong, I’m feeling uneasy about the start of a new week. I have countless assignments, appointments, and events coming up in the next seven days. With the week I have ahead of me, I’d normally be nervous that I’m going to have another breakdown, but for some reason, I’m not scared. It’s not like anything is different this time. Nothing has really changed within the last week, I’m just ready this time.  

I think what keeps me going is the fact that I know that it’s okay to fall apart. It’s okay to have a bad moment, day, or even week. I don’t need to force myself to keep going if I’m not ready. I’m allowed to take a break and take a step backward instead of forward. Sure, I may have missed a few of my classes last week, but it’s okay; my grades are still okay. Maybe the only thing I’ve had to eat in the past few days was late-night DoorDash, but at least I still ate. I may have slept in until noon today, but at least I woke up.  

Yesterday, I was texting my mom about how I feel guilty because I’ve been staying in my dorm feeling sorry for myself all week. I admitted to her that I skipped some classes to stay in bed, and instead of scolding me, she said something that really stuck with me. “It’s okay to throw a pity party, but the key is not staying there.” That simple statement really meant something to me. At that moment, I realized that this past week spent feeling sorry for myself was exactly what I needed to put my best foot forward for the rest of the semester. 

Adria Hoadley

SBU '26

Adria Hoadley is a senior at St. Bonaventure University from Union Springs, New York, and this is her third semester writing for Her Campus. Writing has always been her creative outlet, and she loves sharing her voice.

As a psychology major, Adria is passionate about mental health and often uses that topic to motivate her articles. After graduating with her undergraduate degree from SBU in the spring, she hopes to go on and get her master’s degree in school counseling. Apart from Her Campus, Adria is involved with several other clubs on campus and enjoys volunteering in her free time.

Outside of school, Adria enjoys spending time with friends, getting coffee, listening to music, and online shopping. Although she loves a fun night out, she can usually be found staying in and binge-watching Grey's Anatomy while brainstorming ideas for Her Campus articles.