As the fall semester comes to a close, I’ve taken some time to reflect on what this semester meant to me.
First of all, it’s my first semester at SBU without Claire Fisher, the girl who played a role as a big sister to me for my first two years. She held my hand in all I did during my freshman year and taught me how to say goodbye in my sophomore year.Â
In preparation for this semester, I worried about what SBU would look like without her presence, without her friend group, and without her, as a person. I can proudly say that I have grown immensely during this semester and have learned how to give the ones I love the space to grow as they need.Â
This semester also marked the beginning of being an upperclassman. I started my job as a peer coach, a role I begged to have as a sophomore and casually played when I wasn’t offered the position initially.Â
As a peer coach, I’ve grown to see how I personally affect others, and how my attitude can shape others’. I had multiple students who were truly dedicated to responding to my emails and others who wholly ignored me in the classroom and digitally. That’s okay.Â
It’s a bummer they are missing out on the resources I offered, but I know my approach is not everyone’s cup of tea. My emails are honest; I’ll share when I am feeling burnt out because I want to normalize recognizing when you need a break and taking the time to reach out for support. I know I needed that during my freshman year as I navigated my own personal struggles with mental health and balancing college life.Â
As I look to next semester, I’m thinking of how busy my life will be once again. I will still be working 15 or so hours per week among my three jobs. I will also start my capstone project in Catholic Social Thought next semester.Â
I’m truly so excited for my courses next semester, but I’m not looking forward to all the pushback I’ll get when I’m asked how many credits I’m taking and I respond with “20”. This semester was my first time taking fewer than 18 credits since my first semester at Bonas, and I always felt like I was being judged when I responded that I was “only” taking 16 credits.Â
I deserve to have a break. I deserve to find peace in all I do, and I create that through taking a lighter semester when I can.Â
This winter break will be a welcome rest, full of reading and cooking. I’m truly looking forward to waking up each morning, bright and early, to make a cup of tea that I’ll nurse until noon. I’ll spend time doing the NYT Connections and Mini Crossword.Â
I’m anticipating a winter of a full stack of books next to my bed at all times, and sharing with my family and friends every book I finish as I check them off my list. It’ll be my first time since last winter where I’m not taking a course or working more than five hours per week.Â
I’m looking forward to getting back on my yoga journey, attending classes locally, and relearning how to appreciate what I’m capable of. I’ll embrace the peace inside of me, taking time to breathe, taking time to walk my dog with newfound freedom.Â
I know that in two years from now, I will no longer have this freedom, so I will absolutely be taking advantage of it. I’ll spend time educating and allowing myself to be curious.Â
I already miss my community on campus, and I still have a week of finals left to complete! I already know it’ll be a short but revitalizing break!
See you next month!