Actions speak louder than words—no doubt about it. Words without actions are empty. So, some of us abandon words completely and communicate only through our actions.
I used to think that was enough; it is not.
You have to tell people how you feel. You may think that your thoughts, desires, and admirations are obvious; they are not.
I could probably make the days of a hundred different people if I let them know how much time I spent thinking about them, missing them, worrying about them. But that takes bravery, and I am not someone who is normally overcome with courage.
I used to make excuses for my silence. I would tell myself, ‘It would be weird to text this person’ or ‘What I say would not change their mind, anyway.’
But I cannot control how someone receives my words. I cannot force others into action or ensure that they will truly understand the meaning I wish to convey through my words.
Does that make my words any less worthy of being said? I do not think so.
Recently, my younger brother told my family that he wanted to move out because he is unhappy. He is 16 years old. This led to heated exchanges between the family and pleas to make my brother understand that this was not a realistic course of action.
I was so angry. I thought, ‘I do everything I can to show him that I care about him. How can he feel this way?’
Then, it hit me: I may show it, but I never say it.
Throughout the drawn-out chain of texts in our family group chat, I realized that at no point did one of us say, “But I want you to stay,” or “I don’t want you to go.”
So, I said it. And he replied with a simple, “I’m sorry.”
Initially, this really irked me. I felt my words were futile because he did not change his mind. I wanted to retreat and take back what I said. I was childish.
Sure, I did not get the reaction that I had hoped for.
But it never hurts to let people know that you care about them, even in small ways.
It helps to say the unspoken. Something kind is never better left unsaid.
The words we choose to say do not always have to be grand declarations of love. Sometimes, the best thing you can give a person is a small moment of honest, heartfelt communication.
In reality, I do not think that my brother will move out. But if he does, I will be glad to know that, rather than trying to change a teenager’s mind, I let him know that I wanted him to stay.
When we are put in tough situations with people we care about, we can be consumed by so many emotions that we forget to express the most prominent one—the one that the rest of our feelings stem from—love.
I did not want to control my brother or fight with him. I just wanted him to know that I am here for him, and I care about what happens to him.
All he needed was a little declaration of love.
Words without actions may be empty. But without words, the intentions behind our actions may be lost.