There is a trend that often pops into my head and my “For You Page” whenever I need it.
“If your life were a movie or show, what would the audience be telling you to do?”
And while answers can vary, one sticks out in my head. Let go.
All I care about and think about is what I want to do with my future, who I want to marry or be friends with, and how many kids I might bear. I am always worried about needing to have it all figured out, but I tell the same line to everyone to calm their nerves.
“What is meant for you will find you. If it passes you by, it wasn’t meant for you because what is, won’t.”
All in all, it leads to my not letting go. I understand that we can hope, pray, or whatever you believe, to have a life that they want, but everyone experiences anxiety. For some, it claims their soul and leaves them bare, for others, it only taints a small part.
But if you have to let go, let God, let anyone, really. Your path has been set, and you only have control when you have a choice.
It could be as simple as whether you would like coffee or tea, whether you stay at home with the less risky job or move across the country, and take the riskier one.
For me, I need to remember to let go of everything holding me back, of the reins of what should be, and live. So, as much as these people scream “let go,” among other wishes for me, I cannot.
The anxiety will rip through my body in a way where I no longer stand tall. But while I can’t let go, I can give in. Give in to the anxiety, but make it happy and good rather than depressing.
My favorite quote of all time, beyond “what is meant for you will find you,” is “what if it all works out?” It’s my phone lock screen, it plays throughout my mind on a loop, like a person bashing back my anxiety rather than letting the fire consume me completely.
I have been raised to be a strong, confident, and stand up for myself, others, and my beliefs. Knowing that I still have that fearless voice and person within me grants me a sort of calm water that rinses through the fire.
While I must let go, I simply cannot. But I can still change my narrative. I’ll give in, not to the bad, but to the good. I will let this smoke wash over me, but it is clear as day and welcomes happy and helpful thoughts.
So, while you lie your head down on your pillow and rest your eyes, think about what your audience is telling you to do. Mine has a lot to say, and the biggest is to let go.