I remember going to the hairdresser’s at around 16 years old. I had been seeing this person regularly for a year or so at this time. I would come in and get a cut and color. One day, she was washing the color out of my hair in the bowl and noticed that I had lost a larger chunk of hair. And although it is completely normal for hair to fall out when showering. This was a larger chunk than normal. This exact same scenario happened the next time I went to see her as well. I was so confused about what had made this happen.
She and my mom started to speculate on what was causing my hair loss. They started tossing around ideas of “anemia” or “stress.” And I simply sat there and began to cry. The last thing a teenage girl wants to hear is that her hair is falling out.
I went to the doctor a couple of months later, as I had my yearly check-up. I asked him what was causing this to happen to me. He asked me some questions about it, and ended up stumped. However, because my hair was not coming out when it was dry, but solely when I was washing it. He was not too concerned. This calmed my nerves down a little bit, but the slight worry in me still lived on.
Three or four months ago, I was showering. The same chunk of hair came out. This has been ongoing for around four-ish years now. Although I noticed that my hair was also getting thinner. As I got out of the shower, I noticed a considerable difference. Over the last few months, my hair has been getting thinner and thinner. I sat on my phone and looked at old pictures of my hair compared to it now. I was baffled. How could I not have noticed this until now?
I decided I needed to confide in someone about this struggle in my life. I waited for my dad to get home from work. He knew about what had happened when I was 16, but not that this was an ongoing problem. He started researching and told me to make an appointment with the dermatologist. I called them; however, booking with them was not as simple as I thought it would be. They had to schedule my appointment on November 14th, which is this Friday.
Ever since I scheduled this appointment, I have been fixated on my hair. Anytime I shower or look in the mirror, it is all I think about. And although some people say, “It’s just hair,” my hair means the world to me as it is a part of me. I have the ability to style it in different ways to express myself. The thought of this being taken away from me leaves me terrified.
I am incredibly anxious for this appointment. I am ready to have answers about what is going on with me. But a part of me is also terrified of what they are going to tell me. Trying to keep an open mind with this has been challenging to say the least. But I am staying hopeful.