As a 19-year-old who is involved in many different parts of campus life, keeping an active social media presence is a huge part of the culture. Not only do I manage my own personal social media accounts, but I am also one of the communications interns for Mt. Irenaeus, the office assistant/social media manager for the Franciscan Center for Social Concern, and the PR Representative for SBU Power Yoga.
It’s safe to say that quite a bit of my time professionally is spent staring at a screen. I can’t just leave social media altogether because the groups I work with depend on my skills to advance. I absolutely love being trusted with the platforms that reach so much of the SBU community, and it’s a great honor to know that I am representing the spirit of the groups I belong to just by personalizing a caption or adding a fun photo to a carousel.
It’s not just social media that is bogging me down right now. I feel like my free time away from schoolwork is no longer spent reading or being active. I noticed this habit creeping up even when I was in high school, but there I was not allowed to scroll my phone between classes or get hooked into a text conversation while I waited for my lunch.
I considered myself a huge fan of long-form YouTube videos from the time I was in middle school all the way through high school. I won’t lie–I still love to sit down to watch a vlogger share their week or a booktuber show what’s on their TBR. That’s still a part of who I am, but it’s no longer practical to sit down to watch a video when I only have 15 minutes until my next meeting or class.
I noticed last week that my screen time average was over four hours per day. I know to most people, that number sounds low, but to me, I feel a great burden of time wasted. How did I possibly have time to scroll when I didn’t have enough time to rest and recharge?
I was never someone who needed a phone to fall asleep. I strictly kept my phone at least 10 feet away from where I slept when I was in high school to ensure I would get out of bed to my alarm. Now, on the nights when I am especially tired, I will keep my phone by my bed and watch an episode of “Modern Family” to put me to sleep or make a to-do list to feel more in control for the next day.
I have always had an unspoken rule with myself that I would only use my phone in the morning to turn off my alarms, but now I find myself scrolling my email first thing out of bed. I send a morning text to my friends and parents. If my roommate is not awake yet, I will put an AirPod in and listen to music to wake myself up. None of these habits are particularly bad, but combined, they set me on a path of further phone usage throughout the remainder of the day, which is tough when it’s only 7:30 a.m.
I miss closing my laptop at night and allowing myself to decompress before midnight. Now, I have constant access to my emails and texts from those I work with. I am always on.
I want to take the time to unplug, even if it’s just for one day. I know that, quite literally, my job depends on me to be a present social media user, but my social media consumption needs to be done in moderation. I can’t expect myself to know who has shared or liked our posts at the tap of a button.
I feel the urge to change within my body. I feel the way my posture has shifted, even within the last year. I used to be commended for my great posture. I can’t remember the last time someone commented on it. My shoulders often feel tense and my eyes are strained when I don’t sit close enough to the computer. I lean forward because it helps the rest of my body to rest.
I want to turn my mind off for a break. I don’t like being perceived as someone who is constantly on her phone and posting on social media. I think it’s great if you have the flexibility to take photos for your personal account and if you make a static post more than quarterly or even bi-annually. That’s just not how I perceive myself to be. I am learning how to exist on social media and have it reflect who I am in person.
I am someone who loves to make in-person connections and loves to chat face-to-face. I am in no way perfectly curated online or offline. I want to be seen online as the same gentle, justice-minded, and Franciscan-hearted person I am in real life.
It’s time to take a deep breath and disconnect for an afternoon!