Content Warning: This article discusses mental health.
Growing up was tough enough with people telling me that I was different than them, but it was even harder when you did not love yourself for who you were. You may fall into depression like I did, or you may not.
I did not like myself. I never did, nor will I, like myself. However, I have learned to be myself no matter what happens. I did not like the idea of just being myself, but I had to get comfortable with myself at the very least. That is when my self-image became better, even if it was not a big chance.
I never fitted in at school until I met Joslynn. She was my rock when I was at my lowest. She was there when I needed her most. She is like the sister I never got and my platonic soulmate. She understands me, and I understand her. We are the perfect duo! Until I graduated from high school and went off to college. I had to find more friends who could be there physically.
That is when I met my other friend, Keeley. She is considered my college best friend, since Joslynn is my home best friend, because I love them both just the same.
I wanted to write a letter to my past self to give myself some closure for the time when I was in grade school.
Dear younger Astrid,
Your feelings about yourself are valid and will always be valid. You do not have to be skinny to be yourself. You do not have to be afraid to be yourself. You do not have to be what is considered normal.
You should not try to be someone else because you are unique and special in your own way. I know that you suffered a lot when you came out, but we are striving in college right now! I also know that it was hard for you because of Bubba passing away.
Now, I am not saying that it will get easier. In fact, it will get worse before it gets better. It may not be something you want to hear, but you need to hear it.
You are much stronger than you think. You are more special than you know. People love you more than you think you know. We made tons of friends in college, including Keeley, Robert, Adam, Caitlyn, Emma, etc. Now, we did not forget about Joslynn from home! She is like our little sister we never got to have.
I wish you the best of luck from the future and hope that you can understand my desire to write you.
Love you!
Older Astrid