I’ve always been the type of person who needs their life planned five years in advance. Whether it’s a vacation or just hanging out with friends, I can’t function without knowing exactly what we’re doing and when. Even small adjustments send me spiraling.
Sometimes people love how much of a planner I am. If there’s a trip, I immediately go into research mode and build an itinerary down to the minute. While others might see it as me being helpful, the truth is I physically can’t function without it.
That “helpfulness” often turns into criticism. If we’re even a little behind schedule, my anxiety builds until I snap. Then come the comments: “go with the flow,” “chill out,” or my personal favorite, “you’re overreacting.” Maybe to them it seems like I am. But I can’t just switch it off. This is the one thing that lets me feel a little in control of my life. Over the years, I’ve tried to fight this urge to plan everything, but it only made me more stressed.
Last week, however, I had a bit of a breakthrough. After months of planning out my senior year living situation, it came time to tour the apartment and sign a lease. I was so excited and once again, had everything mapped out. When we arrived, however, the place we wanted was already claimed. Cue my spiral.
We toured the only other three-person apartment they had to offer, and things weren’t looking promising for us. It wasn’t what we wanted at all, and we learned we would be sharing the complex with a group of 20 boys. But still, we put our names down and decided that it was better than nothing.
While spiraling, I mentioned the situation to a friend who gave me her landlord’s number. He had an available three-person apartment for rent right across the street, so I called. We toured it immediately and instantly fell in love.Â
It was perfect, and we were ready to sign right then and there. There were two problems: It came down to us and another group, and we wouldn’t know until Monday, while the other apartment required a signed lease within 24 hours. We then had to solve the dilemma of whether to play it safe and secure a place we didn’t love, or do we take a shot in the dark with this one.Â
Once again, cue the mental spiral. After discussing, I then made one of the most spontaneous decisions of my life. I marched myself back across the street, took our names off the list for the first apartment, and hoped for the best. With no backup plan, I then lived out probably the longest weekend of my life waiting for an answer. Monday came and went with no word, then Tuesday, and Wednesday. I convinced myself I had made a huge mistake.Â
That act of spontaneity, however, ended up being one of the best decisions I have ever made. After a long five days, I can officially say we got our dream apartment. While I don’t think I’ll ever stop planning ahead, I know now that every so often, it’s okay to have no plan. Just take that shot in the dark. Sometimes, even when the odds are against you, you’ll hit your target dead on.