Do You Like Secrets?

Dear You, 

 

Hey you, I want to tell you something you're not use to hearing.

It'll only take a moment.

There's just a few things I would like for you to know.

I promise I won't take up to much of your time. 

I know your secret. The one  you've been hiding for so long. The one that makes you pretend like your happy when you're screaming as loud as you can for someone to help you. The one that makes you wish you could stay in bed all day and never have to get up, to anything, ever again. The one that makes you not talk for days, and disappear in your own little dark place. I also know about the dark place. The place where it feels like you're in your own personal hell. The place where you cry yourself to sleep. The place where you don't feel like you're even yourself, or tht you'll ever get to know who you really are. The place where the thoughts are so bad that you can't repeat them out loud. The place where you don't love yourself like you should and that makes you feel worse. I also know about the times you've tried to heal yourself and it didn't last and it didn't work. When they told you the drugs would help ease the pain and for a while it did.

You felt numb.

You felt like you were finally in control...until it didn't work anymore, so you had to find something new.

If you close your eyes you probably can still taste the first time the harsh liquid burned your throat and if you really focus you can feel the moment it took over your body and you finally felt good again. The alcohol use to be your best friend until, well it no longer made you feel that feeling you treasured so deeply. So now you have to find something else right? You've already done the drugs, the alcohol, now whats left...I'm pretty sure you remember this part. The part where you finally gave in to your body desires. The moment you decided it was okay, because at least it was going to make you feel better. I mean everyone always talks about how good it is, so why not try it... right? Do you remember you used sex to cope with the pain, when it became your outlet to let go of the things that hurt you the most? Now, do you remember when all of those things stopped working, when no matter what you did after that still didn't help you heal or come close? 

 

Now you're stuck..

How are you suppose to feel? Where do you go from here? What happens to you now? How are you suppose to exist? 

Heal. 

This is the part where you heal. This is the part where you start your journey to heal. The part where you reclaim your happiness back. The part where you finally realize that you are worthy of good things, and to know you are a good thing and it's time you start reflecting that. It's time to stop feeling like you're hopeless, and you aren't ever going to get better or have good things in your life. It's time to love yourself and this time around, the correct way. This time you aren't going to try to stop the healing process, you're going to growth through it. You're going to decide today, at this moment, that you are worthy, you are loved (even if it's by only yourself or a few close people), you deserve good things and you're going to get all of the best things the universe has to give you in abundance.  

This letter is to every little girl who grew up feeling less than, weird, awkward, bullied for just simply being you, talked down on , judged, abused, anything that didn't reassure you that you are  more than enough. This letter is to every little girl who grew up into that teenage girl with low self-esteem, who searched for love and acceptance in the wrong places. This letter is for the young woman today who still has those same issues but now they've brought their best friends, depression, anxiety, anger, hate, jealousy, and have seeped into your life. This letter is for the little girl who is now finally read to hear the truth, are you ready?... 

 

It gets better. You will get better. 

You will make that choice one day to fight. To fight for you. You'll make a choice one day, to fight for your right at happiness, your right at being treated no less than the Queen you are, your right to love yourself, in the most positive unconditional way you can. You'll fight to say this will not be me, or my life, and I no longer accept this burden in my life or on my heart. The moment you start to fight it gets better. The moment you fight for yourself, you've already half way won the battle. 

So here's a little something from me to you, 

"The woman that can admit the little girl inside of her still needs healing, still needs help, still needs to learn to accept herself, and love herself is the woman who can rise out of a fire and never get burned" 

 

We at Her Campus Savannah take depression, anxiety, suicide, and mental illness very seriously. If you ever are having a problem please fell free to contact us via social media email or directly if you see a member. We are not here to judge because quite frankly, a lot of our members understand what you are going through and are open to help. We are your friends, and friends care, and we care about you. You are not alone. 

We also encourage you to reach out to trained professionals ( i.e. therapist, counselors, hotlines, and professionals at your university!)  p.s. you should really click the link. \

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t3MhH2WekcY