You try so hard
So hard
You try to be perfect
Not for anyone else
But for you
You tell yourself be confident
Be proud
If no one will show you off, show yourself off
Wear that crop top
Free the fupa
Free the stretch marks
Free the cellulite
Free the rolls
Let it hang out for everyone to see
What will they do?
Call you fat?
…State the obvious?
Call you ugly?
Say cover it up?
Of course not
…Cowards
Instead…
They whisper
Laugh behind your back
Stare with discomfort and look away
Make jokes
You know, the things that eat you up inside for years…
You’ve seen it all, girl
You’ve heard it all
From strangers, family, & friends
It doesn’t even surprise you anymore
You’ve learned how to cope
Yet…
You never forget
You remember every time you look in the mirror
One day, you just say “Enough!”
You give in
You eat the weightless salads
You damn near kill yourself on the treadmill
You run
…Knowing damn well you can’t even put your jeans on without running out of breath
You start the diet
Eat the foods you can’t pronounce or spell
You break your pockets
Over food you don’t like
Or a gym membership you despise
All for what?
Acceptance?
A compliment?
A smile instead of a stare?
No
It’s for inner peace
To look in the mirror and not believe what they say
Something you’ll never obtain
…As long as you do it for them
A sad story indeed
Yet my own
Some stories have an endings…
This one’s still unwritten.