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What Moving in with My Partner Has Taught Me

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at San Francisco chapter.

Moving in with my partner has been an interesting transition, to say the least, but what was I expecting? Now that we’re finally settled, here are some things I’ve already learned about living with my significant other.
You Don’t Have to Do Everything Together

The best thing about living with your partner is that you always come home to each other at the end of the day. You can catch up on extra work and go out with friends or family, and your partner will always be around at the end of the day. You no longer have to make time throughout your day to message or meet up with them because you now live together!

You also drift away from that stage of wanting to do everything together because you see each other at home. This is my favorite thing about living with my partner because it makes you feel like a well-rounded adult learning to balance school, work, friends, family, and your love life.
Accepting Each Other’s “Bad” Habits
We all are guilty of “bad” habits…

  • Leaving the TV on
  • Not hanging our clothes back up after we try them on (That’s me!)
  • Playing our music, a little too loud

It’s tough to fix each other’s bad habits, and sometimes, it’s because there’s nothing that needs to be fixed. We all have different living styles, and when you’re now cohabiting with your partner, you recognize some of their “quirks.”

Instead of trying to change each other entirely and running into argument after argument, learn to embrace each other’s imperfections. If their “bad” habit isn’t something that’s a safety, health, or comfortability concern, then learn to let it go.
Creating a Routine

It’s essential to develop a routine early into the move-in process. Some things should typically stay the same (School/Work schedule), but if you both want to wake up and make breakfast in the morning or go to the gym together in the evening. Make time for it, but don’t let it interfere with your school/work schedule.
Acknowledge That You Both Need Alone Time (and that’s okay!)

We all need a break sometimes. If you are exhausted, burnt out, or need time alone, communicate that to your partner. It’s totally healthy to want to be by yourself sometimes, the key is how you tell somebody that you want to be alone. Don’t be cold or rude with your approach, make it clear that your partner isn’t the reason why you feel the way you do. If your partner communicates to you that they need alone time, respect their wishes and don’t get offended by their request.
Plan One Night a Week for Spending Time Together

With all the craziness of school, work, and other responsibilities, sometimes it’s easy to forget that you should enjoy living with your significant other, that you should value how the relationship has matured, and that you’ve gotten to this moment. That said, take at least one night

out of the week to spend quality time with each other. Whether it’s going to your favorite restaurant, a special event in town, or staying home and watching your favorite show together, make sure that you acknowledge to one another that you are happy with where you’re at in your relationship. Living together can have its ups and downs (Totally normal!) but recognize that some couples don’t even make it to the point where you’re at, so truly appreciate and grow from the experience.

Starr Washington is a member of the Her Campus National Writer Program, contributing to the lifestyle vertical. She also serves as the President of the Her Campus Chapter at her university. Currently a senior at San Francisco State University, Starr is pursuing a degree in Broadcast Electronic Communication Arts (BECA) with a minor in Africana Studies. Following her undergraduate studies, she plans to pursue an MFA in creative writing. Starr is dedicated to showcasing her blackness in her professional work and is always rooting for black creatives, particularly in film, literature, and travel. In addition to her writing, Starr works at her university’s multicultural center, where she organizes annual events for both the campus and the Bay Area community. She was a speaker at the San Francisco State University Black Studies Origins and Legacy Commemoration, where she had the honor of sitting alongside the founders of the country's first Black Student Union. Starr teaches a course she developed called “Intro to Black Love” within SFSU’s experimental college program. In her rare free time, Starr enjoys chipping away at her TBR list (she finishes one book, then adds three more to the list), writing poetry and fiction, and spending time with her music enthusiast partner and their three-year-old German Shepherd. She is a Scorpio from Michigan.