I usually try not to procrastinate.
For one reason, it’s a bad habit. And another – I simply don’t have the time to procrastinate. In a nutshell, my life is made up of a series of events to attend and tasks to complete.
Then one day, when the thought “I need a therapist” dawned upon me, I brushed it aside.
In general, I consider myself to be a very lucky person – blessed even. I have people in my life who love and support me and my endeavors. I went to college despite all of the obstacles that were thrown at me. I’m involved on campus. I’m living in San Francisco, a city full of interesting people and places to see.
The thought “I need a therapist” didn’t seem realistic to me, because how could I need one if I was secure? Happy even?
On the outside, how could someone like me, need a therapist?
In reality, I was crashing. Hard.
It just took me a really long time to realize it – seven years to be exact.
When I was eleven, my school counselor suggested to me that I should try seeking out therapy. I brushed that thought aside, truly believing that I was fine. At the time, I thought my biggest concerns was about acing a math test, nailing history exams, and trying to stay invisible – and only seeing a therapist would get in the way.
Throughout the years, I kept making excuses, telling myself that I didn’t have the time to go seek out a therapist or that my friends told me that their shrink was annoying as hell.
Isn’t that the whole point of procrastination? Postponing things until the last minute or even more so – when it’s too late?
When the idea first popped into my head, it didn’t come with flashing lights and with a musical number in my head. It was the elephant in the room – large and I couldn’t acknowledge it. Over time, the more I thought about it, I couldn’t decide if I should go or not. One day, I just found myself walking towards the Student Services building and eventually, into the therapy office. After I met with my current therapist, I knew instantly that everything was going to be okay.
My biggest regret about therapy was taking this long to go see one.