Spring break is almost here, and with it you’ll be expecting lots of warm weather, sunblock, and relaxation…. Right? Well for a lot of people (including me) not quite. Nope, for a lot of us we’ll be staying home, going to work, doing a whole lot of nothing. In honor of those who probably won’t be posting pictures of their crazy spring break, here’s the ultimate list of things you’ll need to pack (have ready at your house) for a great spring break.
1. Food and Drinks
Hell yeah – nothing’s better than killing a bag of flamin’ hot cheetos while you’re binge-watching a new show on Hulu. You should probably go shopping before you get too relaxed at home, since it’s not good to order out every night or skip eating. Cheap top choices include : PP&J, pasta (any kind let’s be honest), and some fruit just to get crazy with things
2. Comfy Clothes
A common factor throughout this list is you’re probably not going to want to do much once you get home, therefore you should do it first and get it over with. You should wash everything that brings you joy to wear (thanks Marie Kondo) so that way you’ve got plenty of it, and don’t completely lose your humanity when you question whether you can (or should) wear the same shirt for the fifth day in the row.
3. Something to Do
Okay, I know I said we all do nothing during spring break, but that’s not literal. We all spend time on our phones, binge-watching new shows, and generally just wasting time not doing anything productive. Make sure you still know the password to the Netflix account your grandma pays for, or the Hulu one you impulsively got on Cyber Monday last year (yes that’s me @ing myself). Looking for recommendations? My top picks right now are Killing Eve, Brooklyn 99, and The First 48. Very different shows but now that I look at them together recognize they all have to do with murders. Should probably talk to someone about that, maybe, probably not.
1. Clean Sheets and Blankets
This definitely ties in with washing your comfy clothes, but is just as important. Chances are you’re going to be spending more time in bed than usual as you try to catch up on sleep and partake in general laziness. Seeing as we’re supposed to change our sheets every other week (insanity) when we’re in bed for normal amounts of rest, it’s a good idea to start with clean sheets and maybe have a backup set if you do something crazy like drop salsa on it.
2. Sex Toys and Protection
OMG Kaitlyn you can’t talk about that on here, people will be offended that you’re acknowledging they’re adults that masturbate and have sex in their own bedroom. Umm, well here I am doing it anyways because that’s who I am as a person. Lots of people have wild sex on spring break – and is one of the things we’re known for doing at our age (the truthfulness of this is a little sketch but that’s for another day). Whether you’re getting in some solo action (which statistically most of us do every month) or you’re with a partner, make sure you’re prepared. This is everything from condoms to lube, batteries, headphones, a solid internet connection, and other forms of contraception. Not convinced? Go take a peep at: 10 Reasons Why You Should be Masturbating Right Now.
3. Chargers, Chargers, Chargers!
Nothing is worse than when you’re in the middle of your show and your laptop dies only to discover you’ve been putting off updating it for so long that it’s not giving you a choice to opt-out anymore and you have to wait an hour for it to restart. This seems kind of self-explanatory, especially for people our age, but we all know we wait until the last possible moment to plug in our electronics.
Don’t get stuck rushing around flustered looking for batteries to steal from other places when your Firestick stick dies or ya know whatever else you might be using that requires batteries. (Vibrators. I was saying vibrators in case that wasn’t clear.) It’s so easy to get and even if you don’t use them on spring break, they’re great for the future.
2. Pony Tails and Face Masks
Again, another item that’s great for lasting beyond spring break. I got a pack of thirty of them for a dollar at the dollar tree in December and I still know where a solid five of them are – so clearly I’m thriving. These are great for when you’re definitely a day beyond when you should’ve washed your hair, and don’t want your family to mistake you for a swamp monster. Doing face masks might confuse the family about the whole swamp monster thing, but since you’re not doing anything all day it’s so easy to do, and you’ll feel great going back to school with great skin.
Make sure you have a handy pair of sunglasses for when you’re inevitably forced out of the house on what feels like the sunniest day in your existence. As you explore the great big world you’ve forgotten about while being holed up in your house for over a week, these will come in handy for adjusting your eyes and looking cute as hell.