About 3 months ago, I got out of a relationship I had been in since the start of college. Most of my college experience had involved this person, including mutual friends. What I had not realized during the relationship was how incredibly codependent I had become. I stopped doing the hobbies I enjoyed, lost interest in school, and gave little thought about my own experience and path. Once I was out of that situation, I found myself with much more alone time than I was used to. At first, I felt like I was in a sort of purgatory, but slowly, I remembered what I used to do that made me feel like myself. If you are in a similar situation, these are all of the things that helped me reconnect with myself again.
- Exercise that I enjoy: I love going for long walks! I started doing this daily again, and they’ve been so beneficial for my mental and physical health.
- Hobbies: I love to play guitar, write, paint, and more. I immersed myself back into these hobbies, listening to music and enjoying how creative my mind is.
- Surrounding myself with the right people: Part of what helped me so much was moving in with four of my close friends. Being around such a positive and supportive group of people has increased my happiness tenfold. I also make time each week to still see friends I don’t live with, and make plans with them regularly.
- School: After spending two years doing schoolwork for another person, I was finally able to focus on my own work, and realized I wanted to change my major. Now, I am excited for school again, and for what the future holds!
- Keeping a consistent morning and nighttime routine: Throughout college, I never really experienced a solid morning and night routine because my days had revolved around this person. Now, creating these routines has made me so much more confident in myself.
Most importantly, I began to use affirmations. Every morning and night, and any time I felt doubt creeping in, I would look in the mirror and remind myself: “You are not a burden. You are deserving. You are smart. You are not too much. You are enough.” It may seem silly, but if you say and hear it enough, you start to believe it, and then you realize it was true all along.
