I love mirrors. To whoever invented mirrors, I applaud your substantial contribution to our culture. Kim Kardashian would never recognize the full circumference of her butt without you. I’ll never admit how much time I spend in front of a mirror because it’s probably a disgusting number that could never really be quantified.
When I walk down the street, I catch glimpses of myself in the reflective surfaces of parked cars—and I hope I’m not the only person that does this. Last year, I told myself I had a serious problem when I caught myself procrastinating on my assignment by staring at the empty abyss, which was really a reflection of my face.
So, does this make me a narcissist?
In Greek mythology, Narcissus was aesthetically the Harry Styles of his generation. He caught a glimpse of himself in a river, or some kind of puddle and fell in love with his own reflection. He became so obsessed with his own face that he forgot about all the necessary things you have to do to live, and died. Now, this seems pretty severe (but then again, Greek mythology fabled many extremities, like Zeus impregnating a rock) but it made me question if mirrors were becoming an unhealthy possession. Were they distracting me from the essential things in life, like having a balanced diet, excelling in academia and accepting Jesus Christ as my Lord and saviour? Unlike Narcissus, I live in a world where obligations, stress and hunger pains counter the possibility of ever sharing a death similar to his. Nonetheless, my past time was becoming toxic.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is defined by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders as a mental condition consisting of an individual’s inflated sense of self-importance. They typically exaggerate their achievements and talents, treating themselves as superior. Narcissists also require constant admiration and can be quite manipulative. Now, reading this, we probably all have someone in mind. Maybe it’s a friend or a family member. Perhaps it’s the guy in the group chat that has to reply to your comments with a giant “thumbs up” emoticon, filling you with overwhelming rage. Maybe it’s you.
Studies show that narcissists tend to be far less empathetic towards others and have an underlying fragility in their self-esteem—both of which I would not describe myself with (at least to any employer). After my extensive Google searches and research, I self-diagnosed myself with a solid NVM—regarding myself as just someone with high self-esteem instead. And though it may seem like the narcissistic thing to characterize yourself as someone with high self-esteem, I decided that this is my narrative. So, that is what it shall be (I know, how narcissistic).
I don’t think there should be anything wrong with loving yourself and being able to say it enthusiastically. We live in a world where everyone second-guesses the text they just sent or deletes the picture they think may have been too risque. I’ve been guilty of uploading a photo, but captioning it something like “please ignore my sausage fingers.” We always need to be the first to comment on our flaws and be self-deprecating before anyone beats us to the punch. I take 50 photos; however, only one picture makes the final, FaceTuned cut; and even then, I’m not entirely confident in my decisions.
These unhealthy practices need to stop. Having the confidence to think of yourself as a great person is an uphill battle on its own and, celebrating these traits doesn’t automatically make you a narcissist. If you know you’re funny, lovely! Call yourself funny! If you think you’re beautiful, wonderful! You are beautiful! Self-awareness of your own traits should not be condemned as being conceited or shallow. However, if you really are a jerk about this kind of thing or making false claims to project your core pretentiousness, that’s not cool. Be kind, before you’re any of these things.
What I’m trying to say here is: having some narcissistic traits isn’t a bad thing. In fact, I think everyone needs that self-confidence to survive and thrive in this day and age when we’ve been left to fend for ourselves. So go ahead and stare at yourself. Check yourself out in that mirror to the point of tripping out on your own face. Take 4 GB worth of selfies. When you catch a glimpse of your reflection mid-party, and you wonder what in God’s name happened to your face, bury that voice because your face is shining bright like a diamond.