I would like to preface this by saying I am not an expert in anxiety or dealing with it but I, like many people, have daily anxieties that sometimes seem almost impossible to control. Recently, I got a book titled “Calm the F*** Down” written by Sasha O’Hara and really has helped me calm the f down.
The most notable part of the book was the reminder to never worry, freak out, or get anxious about what has not happened. A common trait that many people who experience anxiety is worrying constantly or periodically about something that has not occurred and building up this fear that oftentimes, we realize was for nothing.
A great example of this is what I’m sure many college students went through before coming to college; “what if I hate it?”, “what if I don’t make any friends?”, “what if I fail all my classes?”. Chances are none of the above actually happened and you probably ended up saying to yourself, “wait, why was I worried?”. While this is just one situation, I’m sure many of you have realized you do this for many things that are just going to happen in our lives whether we worry about them or not. Here’s some tips from myself as well as the book on how to combat this:
1. Recognize what you’re worried about
Do you ever feel like you’re worried about something and you just don’t know what? Take a moment, think about what you have coming up and try to notice which things are the root of the stress.
2. Relax
I know, I know — I hate it when people tell me to relax, too. But seriously, find a few little things that you know help you relax. Listening to music, reading a book, meditating, watching a show, etc. can all be your way of taking a moment to relax. It doesn’t matter what it is and it will be different for everyone so just find the method that works for you.
3. Figure out if there’s anything you can do
Once you’ve relaxed a bit, think about if there are any solutions or if there is anything you can do to to actively stop the thing that is making you anxious. If you have an assignment due that you’re anxious about, see if there is anything you can do to get started on it. This is just an example but this applies to anything.
4. If there’s nothing you can do beforehand, calm down
If you have evaluated the situation and there is nothing, and I mean nothing you can do, that probably means that whatever it is that is worrying you is going to happen no matter what. An example of this is if you’re worried about an upcoming doctor’s appointment, there is likely nothing you can do about the fact that you literally just have to go to the doctor. I mean, what is worrying going to do? Not stop the appointment from happening, that’s for sure. So stop torturing yourself!
Now, I know this is no permanent solution for anxiety but if you find yourself in small moments of anxiety about the little things in life, these tips might just help! I definitely recommend getting the book because it seriously has some great tips and is written in a really funny way so it’s actually enjoyable to read.