Hello, My Name is Anxiety

Hey! Hmm.. too eager. Hello. Too formal. Hola. Wrong language.

Hi, my name’s Anxiety. You’ve seen me all around campus, and for some of you: I never leave your side. I’m really good at fucking up your day. Let’s rewind your day, and I’ll make all my usual commentary to really mess with your mind.

Alarm goes off at 8 am but you slept until 8:15.  You’re late. If you don’t get up at this very second you are going to miss your 11am. Hurry up, get changed!

You pee and brush your teeth, you look in the mirror. You look dead. And you have a hickey on your neck. What are your professors going to think? What if they see it and now you don’t look professional and you will never get an A in this class. Fuck. You’re still behind schedule! Go!

You get changed and put on your clothes. Nope. Absolutely not. You’re going to sweat through that shirt if you wear it, and those jeans make your knees look weird.

Change three more times. Is that the best you can do? I guess. Let’s go it’s 10am. Start walking to class so you can walk the campus so that you can try to collect your thoughts before you get into the classroom.

On your way out the door slams behind you by accident. You’re so rude! Your roommate is sleeping!!!

Walks around campus for 40 min.  Remember that boy you liked? He hasn’t texted you back. You’d probs just mess up the relationship anyway. Ugh but he’s so sweet. What if he doesn’t even like you back? Idk. We’re gonna be late to class. Can’t stop thinking about it. What if you never get married?

Gets to class 15 minutes early.

Class is over. You literally have no idea what you just learned. We were stressing out the entire time. Now how are you going to pass the test.

Lunch with friends. You talk about your stress. Ah a break. Wait a minute. You’re talking way too much, and you sound like you have way too many problems. Stop talking about your schedule and that boy and your stress. SHHHHH you’re annoying them they don’t want to hear it!

Homework. You spent the last twenty minutes planning out your homework schedule and it’s a mess. Your life’s a mess. You’re doing way too much. SLOW DOWN. Stick to the schedule. Spanish for an hour, french for an hour, emails for 13 minutes and break for 2. Essay para one and two by 4:15 and finish the rest by 6. Shit, go get your laundry. Re-adjust schedule because you forgot that your laundry was done. STRESS.

Club meeting. That was a great meeting, but you weren’t productive enough, and now you have another one to go to, you’re going to be late.

Club meeting two. How the hell are you going to run this club next year? You barely have time to breathe- speaking of which, all of my commentary is making your heart hurt. Ow. Ow. Ow. But you’re tired now too… go get a kickstart and get to Zumba. Now your heart hurts more and you feel a little crazy, but you’re smiling. No one else knows. You’re good.

Zumba. This is so much fun! Wow dancing is great… but idk about these huge mirrors we’re doing it in front of. Your butt might be shrinking. And your boobs are small. Ew you look so sweaty. You messed up the moves because you were looking at yourself and now the entire class thinks you’re conceited because you were looking at yourself.

Dinner at profs. There’s too many people in here. You smell! You just came from the gym, get out of there.

Mental Breakdown during homework and shower time. Oh well we knew this would happen. And here we are writing this article instead of doing actual homework. Can you do ANYTHING right? Cool. Thanks. Just schedule your day out tomorrow and take extra melatonin tonight so I can’t bother you while you’re sleeping.

Goodnight buddy, I’ll see you in the morning.

XOXO your Anxiety