One of my goals for 2025 is to go on one solo date per month. I dedicated many months in 2024 to growing and learning more about myself. When October hit and I began dating my wonderful boyfriend, I found myself learning how to maintain the relationship I have with myself while getting romantically involved with someone else. I’m a firm believer in the fact that you can never fully fall in love with someone else, without finding the love for yourself first. Here are a few things I do to make sure I prioritize self love while dating my boyfriend.
Solo Dates
A solo date is not sitting by yourself scrolling on TikTok. A solo date means putting your phone on do not disturb and purely spending time with yourself. I go on at least one solo date per month. I treat myself the way I know I deserve to be treated. Yes, my boyfriend does treat me well, but you shouldn’t be gaining love and validation from someone if you can’t love and validate yourself. Spending time alone also helps you understand yourself and your emotions on a deeper level. Overall it deepens your love and understanding for yourself. Here is a list of some of my favorite solo date ideas to help inspire you:
- Walking in nature.
- Getting my nails done.
- Going to dinner.
- Having a spa night.
- Having a picnic.
- Going shopping.
- Walking to a local bookstore and coffee shop.
- Buying myself flowers.
Alone Time
Going off of this, I prioritize time by myself. Aside from solo dates, I find time throughout my day to do things by myself. When I’m not with my boyfriend, I’m not with my boyfriend. I don’t FaceTime him every hour of the day. I hang out with my friends, get work done, and further my goal progression. Your partner can be a big and important part of your life, but your partner is not your life. You have your own life that you must live.
He Is Not My Therapist
I feel as though it is very common for people to seek answers from their partner. While my boyfriend is there to comfort me in times of stress or sadness, I don’t expect him to solve my problems. If you are actively looking for your partner to have all of the answers, then you are setting unrealistic expectations. It is self sabotaging if you are setting unrealistic expectations that can’t be met. Your partner is not meant to have all of the answers. My boyfriend is trying to figure out life in the same way that I am. I am so beyond grateful for his love and support, but I will never ask him to solve my problems.