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The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.

I want to be alone. No, I need to be alone. And sometimes that’s for the best. 

Being alone is a daunting thought for many. It is, after all, only human to crave the connection of another. In a strictly romantic sense, there is a natural desire to be with someone. To know that in that moment, they are thinking of you and you of them. For some people, however, fulfilling such a desire instills a deep, ever present fear of finding yourself all alone. Being all alone verges on the edge of unfathomable when you become rooted in the notion that aloneness is a bad thing. Finding comfort in your own company becomes an impossible task and thus begins a seemingly never ending cycle of needing someone, anyone, and everyone. 

I speak from personal experience, of course, but the fear of being alone is not unique to me or anyone else who has ever felt as if they could not bear to be by themself. That being said, being alone should not be something to fear, but rather something to embrace. Maybe that is a rather hypocritical thing for me of all people to say, but the fact still stands. But, how can you embrace being alone? 

The first step is to not think of being alone with such a negative connotation. By letting go of preconceived notions, you open yourself up to new interpretations of what being alone really means. There is a beauty to taking time with yourself and only yourself. 

The next step is to let go of your dependence on others. This one is definitely easier said than done and will take time (trust me), but is essential to employing a new mindset. You do not need the presence of someone else to feel fulfilled. You do not need someone else to have a good time. This in no way means that you have to be alone all the time, but rather that you are okay in the absence of other people and are not reliant on them to define yourself. 

Lastly, reconsider what “alone time” can mean. Think of being alone as a gift to yourself. A time to figure yourself out and discover who you really are and what you really need out of life. Being alone is not something to fear, but to use as a new path for self discovery.

Demi Robbins

Rochester '23

Hello! I'm Demi, a current sophomore at the University Of Rochester from Dallas, Texas. I am planning on double majoring in English and Political Science. In my free time I love to hang out with friends, write, adventure, and sip on chai tea lattes.
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