Since I was about 15, I have been falling asleep to the TV show How I Met Your Mother. It began when I entered high school. I can’t exactly explain how it happened or how quickly it became so essential, but by about grade 10, I didn’t go to sleep without Ted Mosby’s voice in my bedroom.
I cannot put my finger on why it was How I Met Your Mother, or how that simple TV show became so intertwined with my comfort. Since then, it has become routine to open my computer, turn my volume down to three, completely remove the brightness from my screen, and close my eyes. I have jumped from Netflix to Crave to Disney Plus for this show—it’s become a necessity!
I am not oblivious to the oddness of this routine. I first became aware that this dependency was slightly concerning when I went to summer camp after grade 9. At camp, we weren’t allowed to bring any phones or computers, but I needed my How I Met Your Mother in order to sleep.
So… I downloaded audio files of episodes onto my iPod shuffle and listened to them with headphones after all my cabinmates went to sleep.
I realize now—with hindsight and a few years of self-growth and knowledge—that this routine was my way of combatting anxiety and quieting the thoughts that kept me up at night. It is just noise and a place to rest your attention so that your mind won’t wander and wind itself up.
Sit-coms follow the perfect balance of simplicity and absurdity so they can capture the mind’s attention, but not allow it to invest too much mental energy into the plot. The characters are instantly loveable, they feel like old friends, and they are beautifully predictable. The predictability is the glue of the entire routine; you never have to fear falling asleep, as there is never anything to miss. You always know exactly what will happen.
Many people ask why I don’t just listen to a meditation, read a book or practice a healthier, more mindful routine. While this question is valid, its answer is complex.
See, even though I’ve been watching How I Met Your Mother to fall asleep for almost 8 years now, it still feels exciting to me. I still laugh at the jokes and cry when Barney and Robin fall in love for the first time. Surprisingly, even though it’s routine, watching the show nightly doesn’t feel medicinal the way listening to a meditation does.
Now, years later, my relationship with How I Met Your Mother as a nightly lullaby has changed. I still watch multiple times a week. If I’ve had a long day of school or if I am chasing some extra comfort, I will climb into bed and put on my HIMYM. I love it, and often, it’s a great part of my day, but it is no longer a necessity. If I don’t have access to it, I will be okay. Still, it’s comforting to know it waiting there if I need it.
Reflecting on how quickly something like a TV show can become interlaced with a feeling of comfort and subsequent dependency, completely based on its context, is pretty wild. Be careful what you feed yourself when you are low, or you may just end up with a HIMYM addiction like me :)