As November is recognized as Men’s Mental Health month, I wanted to dedicate this article to all of the men in my life and to something that we don’t talk about enough; men’s mental health.
We all have men that we care about in our lives. Fathers, sons, brothers, partners, uncles, and friends. They matter to us and so does their mental health. We have to continue to encourage the men in our lives to talk about their mental health because there’s a chance that they aren’t talking about it enough.
Women’s friendships with other women help them protect their mental health because it’s generally easier and more common for women to talk about their feelings and lean on their support circles, especially during times of loss or change.
Practicing and maintaining good mental health is as important as physical health. You need it at every stage of life and plays an important role in coping with stress and adversity. Yet, men are more likely to struggle speaking up about mental health issues. Men may not want to admit their struggles because they think it makes them weak. Men may not want to see a therapist because they feel they’ll be judged. Men also may not want to talk to their friends or family about their mental health because they feel as though they are burdening them, and that they will be ‘taking on their problems.’ Men feel the weighted effects of toxic masculinity too often. Men feel the pressure of society’s gendered constructs. To consume and bury their thoughts and feelings in order to protect their ‘machoness.’ And if men don’t get the help they need, drug and substance use sometimes becomes the maladaptive coping mechanism to numb their pain – because talking about their feelings feels scary, unknown, and impossible.
It’s important to remember that while help comes in many different forms, it begins with talking about what is affecting you. And continuing to talk about it. No one is immune to struggles – we are all only human and being male doesn’t grant you immunity to adversity. And it certainly doesn’t mean you shouldn’t talk about your mental health. This long standing masculinity ideology that associates talking about mental health with weakness has left a great misconception on society. Attitudes have certainly improved, however; still not enough men are talking about their mental health. It isn’t easy talking about our struggles and it takes incredible strength to admit when you may just be treading water. It can take time to get comfortable enough with yourself, let alone others, to have an open discussion about your mental health. But it’s time that is absolutely essential.
In truth, we could all learn to foster more transparency around mental health. Communicating with others can establish camaraderie and empathy to help prevent feelings of isolation and loneliness- feelings that feed addiction struggles and mental health issues. You are your longest and biggest commitment and you owe it to yourself to take care of your mind. To have a happy, healthy mind. Normalize going to see a therapist the same way you would see a doctor when you are physically sick. Challenge yourself to open up and use your support systems as sounding boards. Write down your thoughts. Devote yourself to cultivating happiness. To the men in our lives: you are strong, you are capable and you are brave. We love you, care about you and will continue to support you. A healthy mind makes for a happy soul. Keep talking about your mental health.