Trigger Warning: Sexual Assault, Rape
In the #MeToo era, there has been a lot more scrutiny on sexual harassment and assault in our society, which has lead to a lot of positive changes in how survivors of sexual assault have been treated. But there has been a group of survivors that are not talked about enough: the men. 1 in 6 men will have experienced sexual abuse or assault in their lives; a shocking statistic, considering male survivors are so rarely talked about. Please do not think that this is to take away from what women experience, or lessen our struggles, but instead to bring to light to an often-forgotten group of victims.
The social attitudes of our society make it a lot harder for men to cope with their experiences. Many beliefs in today’s society make it harder for men to come to terms with their abuse. Common thoughts such as “all men want sex”, “men are stronger, so he wanted it” and “men can’t get sexually assaulted” are perpetrated throughout generations to repress how men deal with sexual assault.
The higher levels of stigma against male survivors doesn’t help with reporting rates. Men are often discouraged from reporting, and are shunned for being weak if they do report. The lines between sexual assault and normal behaviour are also blurred for men, which affects what acts people perceive as sexual assault. This normalizes abusive behaviours towards them, and reduces the chances that people speak up.
Many men that have been sexually assaulted have mental trauma to go with it. PTSD, depression, alcoholism, drug abuse, and difficulties in intimate relationships are all common in male survivors. Feelings of shame and guilt are common reasons why any survivor, male, female or other, chose not to report, and these feelings are intensified in men because of how our world works.
We need to make an environment where it is okay for men to be vulnerable. Where victims of all genders are heard and get the justice they deserve. Although I am not naive enough to think this will ever fully occur, I think we can make the world just a little more open. Make sure to listen to your friends, brothers, boyfriends. Validate that what they feel is normal, and it is okay to express your feelings regardless of your gender or sexuality. People should feel safe to talk about how they feel, and men deserve to be supported for what they go through.
Note: If you are in the KFLA Region and have been sexually assaulted, please reach out to SACK at 613-544-6424/1-800-544-6424 or at webelievesurvivors.ca if you need support or additional resources.