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Self-Love Language: How to Show Love to Yourself

The five love languages encompass different ways love is given and received: physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, gifts, or quality time. The notion is each person has a primary love language, meaning out of the five sections, there is one which resonates the most to express love and support. Love languages are often associated with partner relationships to provide understanding and a deeper connection. However, a person’s leading love language can also be meaningful to how a person can best give love to themselves. It’s difficult to love another before you love yourself. Take the time to practice your love languages on you!

Physical Touch

Breaking news: you don’t actually need another person to satisfy your primary love language, even if it’s physical touch. To maximize physical touch, do things that make your body feel good and focus on your physical well-being. Learn to love and know your body. What makes it spark? What makes it feel good? Take the time to pamper yourself.

Physical Touch Ideas:

  1. Give yourself a spa day. Work on your skin care-routine! Take a bubble bath! 

  2. Take the time to incorporate morning and night stretches into your routine. 

  3. Invest in a soft blanket to wrap yourself in at night.

Photo by Maddi Bazzocco from Unsplash

Words of Affirmation

If words of affirmation is your primary love language, it’s important to build yourself up and be encouraging towards yourself. By enacting daily affirmations, you’ll begin to imprint positive self-love statements into your thought process. It’s important to fulfill daily affirmations as they truly do have great benefits for your overall well-being.

Affirmation Ideas:

  1. Positive self-talk. Be your biggest fan. Always support yourself and don’t tear yourself down. 

  2. Journal about your strengths and positive qualities. Writing out your positive traits makes them more real. Revel in all the good things that make up you.

  3. Compliment yourself. Look in the mirror and say three features you find attractive. You’re beautiful and deserve to hear that from yourself.

Acts of Service

The acts of service love language is meant to focus on the acts of kindness done for you by YOU. Do things for yourself that make you feel good. More importantly, give yourself what you need, when you need it. 

Acts of Service Ideas: 

  1. Delegate. Make your life easier. Acknowledge what works for you and get rid of what doesn’t.

  2. Keep your space clean. Have what you need be readily accessible. Remember to do your laundry and not wear four day old socks. Wash your dishes instead of being overwhelmed by the ever growing pile.

  3. Meal prep. If you know you’re going to have a busy week, make food in advance. Take care of yourself and ensure you’re eating more than a can of tuna on a busy night.

picnic blanket, food and hat
Evangelina Silina


Gifts can be a symbol of love and support for people with a gift-giving and -receiving love language. So, TREAT YOURSELF. Treating yourself can make you feel special and encouraged. With giving yourself gifts, you are celebrating yourself rather than depending on someone else to provide for you. Purchase things that make you happy. Take the time to invest in yourself.

Gift Ideas: 

  1. Buy fresh flowers. These are a great way to show love to yourself and bring brightness into your space

  2. Sign up for a monthly subscription box or service. For instance, if you’re a kid at heart, invest in Disney Plus!

  3. Create a fun budget. Put money aside that is solely meant for treating yourself. Whether you’re saving up for something costly or a quick fund to grab ice cream on a sunny day, set money aside that is simply meant to bring you joy.

pink roses
Photo by Sidney Pearce from Unsplash

Quality Time

If quality time is your primary love language, then spend time alone doing things that you love. Block out time for yourself—designate 30 minutes to one hour per day. Turn off all distractions and settle into some solo time with yourself. Having quality time allows a loving space of solitude for growth and acceptance.

Quality Time Ideas:

  1. Plan a date for yourself: dress up in the outfit that makes you feel the best. Order your favourite food. Light candles. Set the mood. Enjoy!

  2. Go on an evening walk and watch the sunset. Simply sit and enjoy your own company with the beauty around you.

  3. Watch your favourite movie. Nothing is better than laughing along with your favourite film. Throw the twinkle lights on, pop the popcorn, and enjoy the show.

woman looking at sunset over water
Photo by Megan Nixon from Unsplash

Regardless of what your primary love language is, always remember to take the time to love yourself!

Erica Labriola

Queen's U '21

Erica Labriola is studying English Literature and Psychology at Queen’s University. She loves reading, F.R.I.E.N.D.S, and oat matcha lattes (with extra vanilla).
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