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This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Queen's U chapter.

It’s 3AM, you’re 5 years old and just had a terrifying nightmare. You spied in on the horror movie your teenage brother was watching with his friends; despite countless accounts of forewarning you received from your mother. You did not  heed her advice and scared yourself into a jumble of blankets that cover your head to your toes; and with a quick glance under the bed and a freaked out peek in the closet you relent yourself to sleep. Regardless of your cautionary takes in marking your room monster free you end up in a fury of sweat and screams. And so you run into the den of safety -a lair in which no monster dares to enter- your parents’ room; and eb back into a peaceful scare-free slumber. 

With age comes the realization that beasts are a mere fathom of wild imagination- and with a little wishful thinking you may banish all monstrosities to a land of no return. But what happens when the king of all evils- a monster that refuses to bend to will, thought or fight takes refuge in your mind? A creepy-crawler with its abundance of tentacles morphing to full shape within the inner workings of your being– paralyzing you from the inside out. Rendering your strengths futile, mind undeniably exhausted and body immobile; stuck in bed for hours on end. That is when you realize that to fight against claws and teeth is far easier than that of attempting to shun away the shadow of doubt, depression, anxiety, eating disorders etc. that weave in and out of existence like an intricate dance with the devil.

This dance with the devil (Mental Illnesses), is one of extreme intensity; a salsa of fate and a tango of pain. He’ll have you spinning till you are screaming with agony- clutching your head to stop the dizzy spell whilst choking on your words and tears. The devil paints your fears and dreams with oil pastels of affliction on a canvas of frayed soul and tired being. Probing you to pose questions that you never deemed questionable- searching for answers in places you never ventured before. You see mental illness is comprised of malignant cells- cells that multiply and spread violently and aggressively marking everything in its path as personal property- thus reigning control and puppeteering your every thought and move.

Mental Illnesses are a veil of terror that blinds you- a mirror image of your 5 year old self- bundled up in heaps of blanket in the warm embrace of bed that shuns reality to the dark corners of sanction. And in keeping up with the mirror of past, one cannot and should not fight villains alone. Crawling into bed with your mother aided once upon a time, and shall once more. The devil is afraid of light and the force of a team. Alas whence struggling blindly one must always seek help. For with talking to a friend, family, mentor, or professional, there will exist an army of weaponry that could destroy the shadowy being- passing on the torch of control back to you. You are never alone, there is always someone willing to lend an ear, a solution, answers to your questions and the right tools and weaponry.


Susan Mokh

Queen's U '21

Flectere si nequeo superos, Acheronta movebo.
HC Queen's U contributor