Dear Motivation God,
I am very conscious of my immense lack of gratitude, and the fact that I pray not-so-often. I am also apologetic for my deviation from the path that you had so meticulously laid out for me, and for praying to the Gods of procrastination ever so often. I understand that you exist for the sole aid in humanity, and have given us nothing but positive outbursts of energy to do all tasks; and you have graced us with your presence – albeit sporadically. I mean not to degrade your excellency or to overstep any boundaries that may have been in fine print whence I signed your contract of faith. In addition, I hope this doesn’t offend you in any way or form, for I sincerely intend to write this to express my most pressing thought.
Okay, so Motivation God, could you please explain to me the erratic manner of your visits? That is not to say you aren’t consistently welcome; however, take the word “consistently” as literally as possible. For I truly don’t enjoy the sudden urge to clean my entire room on an insomniac night, or to bake ample trays of brownies just because there is nothing to watch on Netflix (a discussion to be had). The times in which I would be more than happy to greet you would be during my sparse study sessions – or perhaps when I cannot seem to keep my eyes open at work, and the appeal of money no longer prevails. Almighty, all I’m saying is feel the mood, assess the situation – and if you find I am in dire need of a kick of motivation, then by all means invade my innerworkings and amp me to the land of the living. And it goes without saying that if you stumble across a resting me and there are no pressing tasks to be completed, then scurry along and find a willing and praying body.
On that topic, could I complain about something else? Where have you been? I have been devoted to you for the past week now in preparation for finals, and yet I have seen no trace of you whilst I studied. Moreover, I have honestly had no urge to do anything productive in the past little bit (since the start of classes, TBH), which brought to surface the importance of motivation, and in due, your greatness. Alas, I have come here today to inform you of your lack of activity. I guess you’ve just lost all motivation as well, eh? All jokes aside, I beg that you don’t retaliate and smite me. Anyway, Motivation God, I want you to know that I appreciate you and wish you an endless and prosperous life – one filled with countless good deeds in favour of those who follow your grace. Hope all is well in the heaven you’ve built yourself, and I look forward to hearing from you, or rather seeing a drastic improvement in my productivity. Farewell, and ’til next time.
Sincerely,
Your favourite sinner.