To enter the school year on an enlightening note (and my subtle attempt at trying to figure my life out), I purchased Sarah Knight’s self-discovery book called, “You Do You”. In summary, the book’s philosophy is that we should not feel compelled to conform to societal rules and instead live our lives fulfilling our unconventional goals and desires, but more importantly, owning them.
Although this sort of genre has a greater appeal to adults in the midst of their midlife crisis (half-kidding), I think this book is the answer to a huge problem we have as students: living our lives inauthentically. We have this urge to feel accepted by others, fearing that stepping outside the bounds will negatively impact our futures. We are afraid to challenge societal constructs and instead choose to follow a path of mediocrity. That makes life sound boring, but more so unfulfilling.
Let this school year be our game changer.
From both myself and Knight’s perspectives, I have composed a list of the Do’s and Don’ts of mastering our authentic selves this school year:
Do’s:
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Do be WEIRD: you shouldn’t have to feel that you need to hide your unconventional mannerisms. Why? 1) It’s fun to freak people out and 2) you won’t have the stress of feeling obligated to act a certain way because you’ll be too busy having fun. So when you see that club that has weekly meetings which discuss the art of sandwich making, and that APPEALS to you, DO IT! There’s nothing stopping you; you’re your own limit!
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Do leverage your differences: society needs unique skills! If we were all the same then I’m pretty sure we’d all be dead by now.
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Do be courageous: I cannot deny that both exposing and embracing ourselves is difficult. Judgement is inevitable, which often hinders our self-esteem and therefore holds us back from sharing our uniqueness with the world. It’s a question if we can overcome criticism and push forward. Day by day with practice we can become resilient, and eventually judgements will be as noticeable as lint on a sheep.
Don’ts:
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Don’t sacrifice your happiness: Don’t sacrifice your happiness as a result of the pressure to conform. If having a 4.0 GPA makes you happy, then continue to work your a** off. But if you’re happy sitting at a 3.2 and investing in extracurriculars and social time, then hey, one bad mark doesn’t dictate your future!
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Don’t accept your own self imposed limitations: take risks! People tend to voice their opinions about what you should or shouldn’t do. However, (drawing the line of course) it’s good to step back and think, “Do I actually want to do this?”, amidst ignoring the ‘very important’ opinions of others. If the answer is yes, act impulsively. You never know where your actions may lead you.
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Don’t be afraid of changing direction: taking another route is NOT a bad thing. Often times students either continue their education (while hating every minute of it) as they fear that switching into another program will cause them a) to lose money and b) be judged; or they just quit overall. Would you rather lose a little bit of pocket change now and maybe have a comment or two from the guy who’s going to lose 30 years of happy living as a result of his job, or the latter? Do the things that make YOU happy! Your success is measured by YOU!
The most unhappy points in my life were a result of ignoring this list. As soon as I stopped caring about what others thought of me my life became a whole lot easier. It was the barrier of “what will people think?” that was difficult to overcome, and of course I still experience those barriers. However, when I do have the urge to conform, I try to remember that it’s not me who needs changing, it’s my perspective. That perspective is that living authentically will give me the greatest fulfillment, and I think it will for you too.
We also have to remember that we have to let them DO them. Judgment is a prominent issue at our age which can lead to bullying and subsequent implications on our mental health. Just because they’re doing something on a whole other spectrum, it does not mean they’re doing it wrong. We are all still alive, after all.
Essentially, be you, do you, and cheer each other on so that we can make this school year the most epic one yet.
One more thing. Sarah Knight, your book changed my life and I hope whoever reads this, picks up this book so that they can be changed too.