Do you ever notice that whenever you are unable to be productive, you find yourself daydreaming about all of the goals you have for being productive? It may just be me, but it has certainly been happening recently. Having had mono for a month and being confined to my household, all I could think of doing was developing positive habits the second I was better so I would never have to experience such boredom ever again. In hindsight, I could have started with many of these habits then and there, but there was some sort of mental barrier hindering my ability to get back on a good track BEFORE I felt better – which made me feel all the more guilty about it!
Even after recovering from being sick, I found it really hard to get into all of the good habits I had imagined for myself. To be fair, mono is a difficult recovery, but I’m someone who holds myself to a high standard. However, that standard may be one of the main things hindering my success with sticking to habits. I keep thinking: It shouldn’t be that hard to read a chapter of a book before bed each night, to journal a few times a week, to do my daily meditation, or to not go on my phone for 15-30 minutes after I wake up every morning… right? Wrong (apparently). One of the biggest things I have noticed is the fact that I always think up a number of good habits to start as soon as possible, which would be pretty intense to start all at once. Secondly, I have found that excuses = lack of accountability, which I find to be key in sticking to a good habit. Discipline is hard but necessary.
The build-up of all of this has also contributed to a lot of negative self-talk or just general self-resentment for not being able to get my head in the game, but I know that I want it, so I’m making a plan to follow through. Maybe it’s the fact that the sun is finally out in Kingston and makes me feel more motivated – actually, it definitely is – but I intend to use that motivation to my utmost advantage. Here are a few of the things I plan to do in making good habits and goals stick.
Complete Intention
Goals require reasons. Of course, the fact that I want to complete goals means that there is something making me want it – and it probably runs deeper than I saw it somewhere online and someone said it helped or I think it will make me feel good. So a big thing for me will be providing an in-depth answer to the burning question: Why do I want to do this? This is my personal homework for formulating my goals. There will be no more general reasoning and I will do genuine research about the habit and how it has helped others. Giving yourself homework may sound a bit silly, but completely grounding the intention of the issue may be crucial in being able to hold yourself accountable.
A “Habit Streak”
In his article “How to Build a Daily Habit”, Nell McShane Wulfhart discusses the concept of a “streak” as a means for holding yourself accountable and it rang true. Everyone used to be obsessed with Snapchat streaks, or their Duolingo streak, so marking down a streak for a specific habit may be a good way to go about keeping up with a habit. Think about it: how much more annoyed would you be if you were to break a habit with the full knowledge that you have a 30-day streak of completing it? When researching how to create and stick to a great habit, this point was something that I was shocked I haven’t thought of myself. I love lists, I love keeping track of things, so keeping a streak could be what my Type-A personality needs to stay on track with good habits.
A Mix of Accountability and Compassion
To me, accountability means “catching myself in the act,” more or less. I want to be able to identify exactly when I am about to break my habit and ask myself if I truly have a good reason for doing so. On the other hand, negative self-talk isn’t very motivating. It may sound a little cliche, but I know that in order to succeed, I need to both hold myself accountable and give myself grace. No one is perfect and habits take a long time to fully curate. Talking to myself positively if I lose my streak will definitely be more motivating to me rather than if I were to immediately consider myself a failure at the habit. I will try again tomorrow. It’s not the end of the world. There seems to be some sort of internet narrative recently of being mean to yourself to succeed – specifically on TikTok – and that is not how I roll or help my productivity. In that sense, it is vital for me to find my perfect mix of holding myself accountable while staying compassionate because I’m only human!
Writing It All Down
My final “goal for my goals” is to write it down. Again, it may just be a requirement for my Type A personality to stay sane, but I think the way to stay consistent is being able to see the consistency in front of me. I’ll dedicate a section for each new goal in my journal, outlining it with my “Why,” my “How,” and my Streak. Having all the information in one place is a great way to view progress, which is one of the most motivating factors. Success and development is what makes me want to do things more, but it can be hard to see success if it isn’t clearly in front of me.
With all this being said, I acknowledge it will probably still be hard for me to develop good habits, but I still want to try. In the words of Her Campus’ own Molly Robertson, “The best thing you can do is try!” At the end of the day, the sun is out in Kingston and a good mood is the best mood to be in when trying new things! It’s time to step out of the winter blues and into the spring excitement and cultivate good habits for the future.