March 13th, 2020. I remember waking up, to see my housemates in the living room on their phones. That was a typical morning for my housemates and me, so I poured a cup of coffee and sat with them. One quick look at Instagram was all we needed to find out that something was happening to our world. We scanned through social media and news stations to see what information we could get about a virus circling. Nervously waiting for Justin Trudeau to make his announcement, little did we all know how our lives would change, possibly forever.
Stay inside, isolate, go home. Never have we seen a worldwide shut down like this, and I remember being terrified. Everyone experienced quarantine differently, which was great to see on social media. Some people took this time to catch up on work, some people baked, some people sat in bed just to spend the entire day there. Whatever you did during quarantine is valid. Although, I was just full of anxiety for the sole reason that I was out of control. For the most part of my life, I was able to control where and when I went somewhere. This was the first time I wasn’t able to visit my friends, family or work. In a way, I felt like I was grieving. I was mad that I wasn’t able to control a situation, and that I didn’t take quarantine well because of it. Looking back, it almost sounds like I was a brat who wasn’t able to get her way, but it was far from that. In this article, I’m going to let you in on a couple of secrets I learned from this crazy year.
I first want to acknowledge that everything is easier than said, and most days I don’t even listen to my advice. So don’t feel so much pressure to constantly take your own advice, but as long as you’re always trying, you are on the right track.
1. You can’t plan anything
If you know me, then you know how much I like to plan. Some may blame it on anxiety or because I’m an Aries, but I blame it on my need to feel in control. I’m working on giving myself permission to let others take control, but it is not an easy thing to do for someone who suffers from anxiety. Having a plan or something to look forward to is my peace, so when lockdown started, I felt chaotic and stressed.
It took me up until last month that planning anything too far in advance is just going to cause me more stress because I will constantly be worrying if it will happen or not. I started saying, “Let’s not make solid plans just yet” more in the past two months than I ever have in my entire life.
There is no agenda to life, so plan for the day because you don’t know what is coming next.
2. Good relationships will always be tested
During the first lockdown, I was going 4 months strong with my boyfriend. We had so many fun plans for our first summer together, so when the lockdown happened, I felt robbed of having an adventurous summer together. I was nervous that being isolated in different houses was going to be incredibly difficult, and while it wasn’t the easiest, we made it work. Not only did we make it work, but we thrived and grew closer than ever (read how we did it in my other article here). I never thought that our relationship would have to grow so quickly, but I’m so glad I did. The long nights we would spend 6 feet apart, talking, sharing stories, and falling deeper for each other are memories I will hold forever.
There was a lot of work that had to be done as far as communication went. Starting off a relationship in a pandemic is hard when you only have Facetime, phone calls and socially distanced talks. Although, if you and your partner work hard, acknowledge each other’s personalities and respect one another, you both succeed. Because if you can grow together in a pandemic, you can tackle anything together.
3. It is okay to breakdown
Breakdowns aren’t fun, but sometimes they’re necessary. My anxiety caused me to cry a lot this year. Basically, I’d cry either happy tears caused by an overwhelming emotion or I’d cry sad tears caused by panic attacks. Covid-19 did not help my anxiety for the better, if anything it just heightened my emotions to a point where I was crying at least once a day. When the entire world has a common factor like this, emotions are higher, our bodies are sorer, and everyone is exhausted in their own way.
I’ve come to realize that crying and breaking down does not define me. Rather, it reminds me that I’m allowing myself to feel exactly how I feel in a moment. I’m not trying to hide or suppress my feelings which I used to do way too often. Be gentle with yourself and give yourself permission to break down if you need to.
Covid-19 has taught me a thousand more lessons, but the most important one is that we all need to start living our lives like it’s our last day. As cheesy as that sounds, it’s true. We don’t know what is coming our way, so if we allow ourselves to embrace the unknown, we will be unstoppable. Covid-19 has also taught me the importance of how to keep others safe. Showing empathy towards others looks like wearing a mask and following guidelines to the best of your ability.
As terrible as Covid-19 is, the entire experience has taught us all how to be more appreciative of the little things in life.
Stay healthy and stay true to yourself.
