Striving to be the best version of yourself is not uncommon, and looking for places to grow is a great place to start. However, growth is harder than it looks and easier said than done. You can have the intention to be better without making any effort, or even think growth must look a specific way. The go-to tends to be more large scale habits, like exercising daily, eating healthy and forcing yourself to be off your phone. The hard thing about habits like this is that jumping into them isn’t necessarily sustainable, nor does it solely focus on who you are as a person and the energy that you give off. If you want to grow beyond trying to be “the ideal person,” there are different ways to approach this situation. Here are 5 practices that you can implement to feel better rather than be perceived as better, because the real question is: who do you want to be for yourself?
1. Meditation
Meditation has become a daily practice for me, though when I mention it to friends, it’s often dismissed. Some respond with, “Oh, that’s cool, but I never have time for that,” while others think it’s generally unusual. Don’t let time discourage you! We are all busy with school and other outside factors so it’s hard to find time in the day to sit down and be present with yourself. This is why I like to end my day with guided meditations right as I’m going to bed. There are 3-minute meditations, 10-minute ones, and even 40-minute to an hour long meditations. The practice isn’t about length, it’s about grounding and allowing yourself to wind down and wipe away the stress of the day so you can wake up the next day renewed and ready to start over, without the stress from the night before.
If you think you can’t even make time for that, it’s okay! Another option that an old therapist recommended was a shower meditation. Everyone showers either once a day, or every few days, and showers with intention and meditation can be so cleansing, inside and out! I like to put on meditation music or frequencies (which you can easily find on whatever music-streaming platform you use) and imagine the water washing away the things that stress me out. It forces you to think about what makes you stressed, but you get to visualize it being washed off of you with soap and water. Even if it sounds silly, doing this with intention can make a huge difference. Plus, it means that if you have time to shower, you have time to meditate. This simple change can shift your mindset for the day ahead.
2. Journaling
Journaling is a controversial practice, in that people also consider it hard to commit to or hard to know what to write about. In my eyes, that’s what makes it such an important habit. You have complete creative freedom to write down whatever you want, which means you’re using your brain and being intentional about what you’re doing.To be honest, I don’t even journal every day; sometimes I even struggle to do it weekly. However, accepting that you can always make even a small amount of time for self-reflection can shift your routine.You know that you have five minutes to yourself at least once a day, so use them. You don’t have to journal daily for it to impact you.
Embracing the freedom of journaling is what made it exponentially easier for me to commit to. I don’t have to write about my day, or even about my life in the past month. Sometimes, I write about something that has been on my mind that has nothing to do with my daily life. Other times, I find prompts on Pinterest or the internet that I can use to think deeply about myself while still escaping from the stress of the present moment. There are levels to journaling that make it so you don’t have to spend more than 5 minutes on it at the end of your night. The other thing that helped me was to not put pressure on doing it daily. Some days, I don’t have things to say, and that’s okay! It makes the practice more intentional if you’re doing it when you feel inclined to say something. You may come to realize that you have more things to talk about than you originally thought.
3. Dance it out
This tip is simple, but it’s one of my favourites. When I’m having a hard week and find myself having an hour or two on my own, I will lock myself in my room, put on my noise cancelling headphones, play my favourite music and dance around the room. Sometimes, I’ll try on my whole closet or even daydream, but it’s always time for me and only me. Phone on do not disturb, no outside noise, just me-time. Dancing alone is a great way to enjoy your own company without needing to do something as intense as running or hitting the gym. There’s not much else to say about it, other than it’s almost like its own form of meditation. Even if it makes you feel a bit goofy at first, try it out!
4. Get Outside
This might sound repetitive, but getting outside is more valuable than most people realize. On nicer days, I’ll start my day by going outside and putting my bare feet on the concrete and taking a couple deep breaths of fresh air before doing anything else. This is a grounding technique that gets you outside. On days that aren’t so nice, I still will step outside (potentially under some sort of cover if it’s raining or snowing) and just breathe in that fresh air. This is a simple, intentional act that helps shift my mind from anticipation of the day to being rooted in the present, aware of the world around me.
5. Practice Gratitude
Expressing gratitude is small but effective. It can change the way you interact with other people, with your day or even with yourself. As odd as it can feel, writing things down or going out of your way to express gratitude will make you feel a difference. There are a few techniques I have started to use in my daily gratitude practice that have made it easier to commit to. First, I like to write down things I’m thankful for at the end of the day—unlike many who suggest doing it in the morning. I prefer it this way, because even if I feel like I haven’t had my best day, it forces me to reflect on the good in my day. Doing this often leads me to realize that maybe my day wasn’t as bad as I made it out to be and that tomorrow is another shot at going into it more positively. Another thing I do is to express gratitude to the people around me. Whether it be small things like thanking people for holding the door or larger things like giving my friends direct appreciation for all of the things they do for me, having it as a daily goal is not a bad idea. It not only improves my mood and interactions, but makes others feel valued—which, really, is how we all want to be treated.
These practices can help you beyond physical improvement, by making you think about the kind of person you want to be and how clearly you are striving towards embodying that person. Give yourself grace if you can’t just start a habit off the bat, but appreciate each step you take towards making something a bigger practice in your life. Every day you do one of these things is another day striving towards being the best version of yourself, which is something you deserve to be proud of. Make time for yourself to incorporate these features into your life and see yourself grow and flourish: that’s what it’s all about, growth.