I rang in two new years this year in two different time zones, one being Ontario time with my family at home watching a virtual concert, and the other on facetime with my Aunt living in Newfoundland. Although both of those are not what I would’ve been doing pre-COVID both were extremely memorable and enjoyable, and the Newfoundland New Year, occurring an hour and a half before Ontario time New Year taught me a very important lesson, one I am carrying with me into 2021.
I’m in my room on facetime with my Aunt, it is 11:54pm her time and 10:24pm my time, the day and night before December 31st I found myself writing down all these extensive goals and resolutions for myself in 2021, work out, lose weight, get a boyfriend, go vegetarian etc. I had the mindset of “New Year, New Me” heading into 2021, until my Aunt said as we’re counting down to 2021 over facetime “2021 is going to be a year for myself”, and my entire thought process and viewpoint shifted. New Years is a time of year associated with new beginnings, leaving the pains and trials of the previous year and starting fresh, becoming a new person with so many new and oftentimes unrealistic and unhealthy goals, but why? Why does it have to be “New Year, New Me” and not “New Year, Better Me”? This idea of ‘new me’ means I’m getting rid of both things I don’t like about myself but also the things I love about myself and that’s just not the vibe. Although I have insecurities and things about myself I rather not have I too have qualities that I love about myself and am not willing to get rid of for anyone! So in 2021 instead of starting from scratch as an entirely new version of myself and disappointing myself in February by not even following my resolutions, I am embracing my flaws and my imperfections and my current state of being and diving head first into what 2021 has to offer.
To make 2021 ‘a year for myself’ it has many components, individual to my own journey and my own personal and realistic, (remember that REALISTIC), goals for myself and it doesn’t necessarily have to do with all physical elements. It’s also the mental and emotional factors that play a huge role in how I plan to live 2021. It’s important to realize that on this journey of self discovery, self acceptance and self love the biggest thing is being in touch with yourself, something I struggle with and am still working hard at. Resolutions in the ‘year for myself’ don’t have to be viewed as mandatory steps for ‘success’ or ‘the new you’. You shouldn’t feel down on yourself if you’re struggling with forgetting to practice that mindfulness and self love, because when you make the new year for yourself and you’re not letting anyone or anything dictate how it’s going to go, you are allowed to pick and choose what is working best for you and adjust your goals and resolutions accordingly.
At the beginning of 2021 I had this entire list of how I was going to become a ‘skinny legend’ and get a boyfriend and blah blah blah, guess where that list is now? In the trash where it belongs, because I took a minute, and reflected on what my Aunt meant when saying “2021 is a year for myself” and realized all my goals and resolutions were for everyone but me, they were determined by social media and the socially acceptable norm for a 19 year old girl. They didn’t even take into consideration my wants and needs. I was planning an entire year of goals based on other people and what I thought they would want me to behave and look like. Not anymore, 2021 is for me and nobody else and that I never need to apologize for being myself and working on myself. I’m taking 2021 and my personal journey of growth, self acceptance and self love one day at a time.
Take a minute to look at the resolutions and goals you set for yourself on December 31st 2020 and think about who you’re doing it all for… 2021 the year for yourself. xoxo
Thanks Aunt Heather <3