During Thanksgiving, I was having a wonderful dinner with my adorable boyfriend and could not have been happier until Elvis’s Blue Christmas started playing. Instantly memories of Christmas with my grandmother came flooding back to my mind. I lost my grandmother in mid-October. I had always been extremely close with her but after seeing her suffer so long, I was honestly relieved to see her pass away comfortably with loved ones by her side.
I grew up in a large family that was very connected, and we spent every holiday together. I can remember going to my grandma’s house the day after Thanksgiving to decorate for Christmas. She would play her Elvis and Patsy Cline playlist as we put new batteries in all her light up angels. She loved her angels but not as much as the little bear that could ice skate. I remember as a child watching the little bear skating in a figure eight as a soft Christmas tune filtered through the air. Most of my childhood memories revolve around being in Grandma’s house or just being with her.
When she passed away my family opted to celebrate her life instead of mourn over her death. My great uncle told stories from their childhood and my older cousins laughed about her quirky habits. I knew that I should not dwell on how she was when she passed, but instead focus on the happy memories I had with her. I thought of when she taught me to make her special chicken noodle soup, and when she danced to her polka music. Or when she would buy me McDonalds chocolate milk after grocery shopping with her. So many of these little memories I hold close to my heart. My grandmother has been my role model all my life.
And so, I am thankful I had twenty-one wonderful years with my grandmother. She was such a strong and hardworking woman, and I hold the lessons she taught me close to my heart. This year is going to be rough, not only for me but my whole family. Every time someone asks what I want for Christmas, I instinctively think of how I wish to be with my grandma, even though I know it’s impossible.
The loss of our family matriarch will inevitably change the mood of this year’s celebration, although we plan to carry on the holiday traditions she started. Most importantly, I know that every time I see a toy angel this year, I will think of my grandmother and her warm hugs.