Flowers are blooming, rain is falling, and love is in the air. Yeah. All those clichés. When I was younger, I used to be obsessed with the idea of a spring romance. I would always become so upset at the idea of not having a prom date or meeting a special someone. But this is college, and now I don’t really give a shit about my love life. Here are ten things way better than a spring fling!
1.Netflix
Why would I want to waste time and money going on blind dates to the movie theater, sitting in the uncomfortable silence of “What do I say now?” wondering if there’s a popcorn kernel stuck in my teeth, when I could just enjoy a flick in the comfort of my own bedroom by myself? That way, I can laugh or ugly-cry without the judgmental and concerned eyes of some dude.
2. One whole extra-cheese pizza
…Do I even need to explain this? I hate sharing food, as does basically every human being who is being honest, and most of the time I really don’t want to give up my pizza. Without a spring fling, no food-sharing necessary.
3. Treatin’ Yo Self
If I don’t have to buy anniversary gifts for anyone, this means more money to spend on the person who really matters- me.
4. Dates with Friends
Because your friends won’t break your heart or stand you up. They already like you just for who you are. No real effort needed.
5. Destroying the patriarchy
No offense dudes, but sometimes you just get in the way of our feminist agenda. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
6. Literally just getting blackout drunk
You can’t be aware of your crippling single status if you’re never sober enough to acknowledge your thoughts.
7. Being a healthy person and not getting blackout drunk
You could also do the complete opposite and maybe go to the gym or eat one vegetable for the first time in 800 years.
8. Having the bed to yourself
Guys take up SO MUCH ROOM. A twin bed is not meant for two bodies. What starts out as a cute cuddle before bed turns into a sweaty, irritating nuisance for those involved a few hours later. Save yourself the trauma and sleep alone.
9. Being able to take as long as you want to get ready
Just because guys can roll out of bed and be ready for the day in 5 minutes doesn’t mean that ladies can do the same. Without a spring romance, you don’t need to worry about getting ready quickly for anybody. Take your sweet old time.
10. Living a happy life
Because relationships just kind of suck.