The Glorification Of Independence
There is something about college that quietly teaches us how to be “strong.”
Without even realizing it, I feel like it has become so normal to idolize the idea of being an “independent, untouchable” woman. We associate that image with the respect we think that we deserve and the amount of strength that we carry. Independence becomes something we glorify, and strength becomes something we end up performing.
How many times have I followed beautiful women whose content I genuinely enjoy, and without even knowing them, I immediately assume they must be so independent and emotionally put together? My admiration for them turns into this idea in my head that they are secure, unbothered and completely in control. And slowly, I start to believe that if I want to be respected the same way, I have to be that too.
Untouchable. Unaffected. Always composed.
Social Media and the Fear of being “Too emotional.”
But going into college, we are surrounded by different kinds of people from all over the world. Everyone you meet has different experiences and varying levels of emotional maturity. In a space like this, who you surround yourself with really does matter.
At the same time, we are living in a generation shaped heavily by social media and internet culture. And somehow, it feels like one day being emotional and open about your distress was seen as depth, and the next it became “corny.”
Being honest about your confusion, your hurt and the foreign emotions you are trying to understand can suddenly come across as emotional immaturity to some people. And once you realize that, you grow to be uncomfortable. You start second-guessing how much of yourself is acceptable to show to the outside world.
When Strength Becomes Isolation
The issue is that while people like to believe that being the sole bearer of your emotions is a strength, it eventually becomes your greatest weakness. Carrying everything alone does not make you powerful. It instead makes you extremely isolated.
Redefining Strength as Security
To me, I have always tried to match the word strong with secure. Strength with security. Because being secure with your emotions, and secure enough to express them, is what actually requires courage.
It takes real strength to say, “I am not okay right now,” without feeling even slightly ashamed. It takes security to let people see the real you while you are still figuring things out.
I do not think strength is about being untouchable. I think it is about being grounded enough in yourself that your emotions do not scare you. It is about knowing that expressing the emotions that you are feeling does not make you dramatic or immature. Rather, it makes you self-aware.
It makes you human.
The Real Strength in College
And maybe in college, where everyone is trying so hard to look like they have it together, the real strength is admitting that sometimes you do not and being secure enough to say it anyway.