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The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at PSU chapter.

During late teens and early twenties, many realize a pattern that seems to be shared among women this age. The guys who are right for them repulse them and the guys who are wrong for them have them swooning.

Some may say it is because they’re young and immature, but people can still be self-aware regardless of age. They know when a good guy who would treat them right is standing before them.

What they don’t understand is why this good guy makes their stomach twist in knots, not in a good way. His compliments are nauseating and his “cute” texts make them want to throw their phone out the window. The feeling this type of guy gives is like if you mixed awkward, uncomfortable, annoyed and nauseous all into one.

@baked3mmy

ask yourself, why? 😁 LMAOOOO

♬ –

In contrast, compliments from the bad guy make them smile for a week straight and have them writing down his exact words into their notes app so they won’t ever forget — not that they would. The feeling from this guy is like excitement, giddiness, anticipation, and anxiety all mixed into one.

So it seems as if the universe is against young girls finding their “perfect” boyfriend. They will never feel satisfied with the good guy, but they will also never be treated the way they deserve by the bad guy.

Maybe this dilemma is the universe’s way of teaching lessons about the wrong guy at a young age, so eventually, when the time is right, they will want to pick the good one. But if the good guy is so right, shouldn’t he give butterflies instead of feelings of cringe?

It’s often said that marriage is not about fate; there isn’t just one perfect person out there who was made for you. Instead, it’s a commitment between two people that requires effort and work. Accepting this can be difficult, especially after watching so many rom-coms with perfect endings.

Many grow up believing in the idea of true soulmates, only to find that the reality of dating — especially during college — can challenge that belief. Often, it’s either meeting someone who wants to give you the world but leaves you feeling uninterested or falling for someone who doesn’t seem to care at all about how your day is going.

The dreaded occurrence of the “ick” has ruined many potential relationships with the good guy. It’s a strong, almost uncontrollable feeling that can come out of nowhere. Once someone triggers it, there’s no reversing it.

On the other hand, chasing after the bad guy in hopes that he will one day treat you right is just as problematic and can be seen as being “naive.” Navigating relationships and deciding who to invest time in at this age is difficult.

So the question is, does anyone ever find the perfect mix of the good guy and the bad guy, or do we just have to wait until we’re older — or at least until the guys are older?

There may not be answers to these questions yet at this confusing age. But there’s still time to circle back in a few years. Until then, the words of wisdom are to learn to love the ick or get heartbroken by the prick.

Jaden is a third-year at Penn State studying Advertising and minoring in Digital Media Trends and Analytics.