There’s something no one really prepares you for about college, and it’s not just the workload or the sleep deprivation. It’s the way you can slowly lose your passion for the things that once felt like home.
The Quiet Shift No One Warns You About
I’ve been noticing it more lately. Not just in myself, but in conversations with friends. A few days ago, I had one of those deep talks where you’re sitting around and somehow end up unpacking your whole life. We started talking about passion, about the things we used to love in middle school and high school.
The hobbies that used to take up our entire afternoons. The things we couldn’t wait to do. And in opening up this conversation, we were met with the harsh reality that no one really felt that way about anything anymore.
It wasn’t dramatic, nor was it even sad in the moment. It was just honest, brutally so. The idea that we merely function now.
We go to class. We do the work. We maintain our relationships and continue to show up.
But that intense drive, that “I can’t wait to get home and do this” feeling? It’s not really there.
Survival Replacing Passion
For me, that thing was writing.
Writing used to be what I confided in. It felt natural to write about the world around me.
When I didn’t understand myself, I wrote until I did. When I was overwhelmed, I wrote. When I was happy, I wrote.
But the harder that life got, the more overwhelmed I became with my classes and my personal relationships, and honestly, the sadder I felt at times, it’s like my body was almost against seeking any form of comfort. Even the things that were supposed to help me felt like they took too much out of me.
And I don’t think this is just me.
Studies have shown that nearly 60% of college students report experiencing overwhelming anxiety, and around 40% report feeling so depressed that it was difficult to function at some point during the year. When you think about that, it makes sense. When your nervous system is in survival mode, passion isn’t exactly a priority.
You’re just trying to get through the day.
The Quiet
The scary part is how quietly it happens.
You don’t necessarily wake up one day and think, “I’ve lost my passion.” It simply just catches up to you randomly. On a Sunday morning when you have nothing to do, or a Tuesday night when you finish your assignments early and realize you don’t even know what you would do with free time anymore.
You sit there and think, what do I even enjoy? And that thought alone has the crippling ability to still you.
The idea that you have nothing to return to or even turn to, nothing that will occupy your time in a way that brings you genuine happiness.
It makes you question who you are outside of productivity. Outside of grades. Outside of who you are to other people.
So, Who Are We Without Productivity?
I think college reshapes us in ways we don’t talk about enough.
We outgrow things. We carry stress differently. We become more aware of how real life is.
And sometimes, in that process, the soft parts of us, the creative parts, the passionate parts, they just go quiet. That silence is deafening.
I feel like in moments like these, the most beneficial thing we can do is not panic. But instead, allow yourself to sit and reflect, and give yourself the space and permission to return to what you used to love slowly.